Vegan Partners

[stoffer]

How important is it to you whether or not your 'other half' is vegan?

[bumblebee]

My "partner" is vegetarian and that's good enough for me. He never complains about eating 99% vegan at home, though. I couldn't be with an omni.

[downwithapathy]

I teeter a bit on this. I don't think I could find long-term romantic happiness with anyone who's comfortable supporting cruel and exploitative industries. Daily exposure to apathy and dead animals on plates would frustrate me, and my probable fixation on his oral hygiene would likely frustrate him. ... Hypothetical nonvegan and I would be chronically frustrated. :D

...but realistically, I know that I'll find willingness to date anyone for whom I may 'fall'...at least for a while. Typically (there've been no exceptions thus far) a very short while.

[mountainvegan]

I'm married to a vegan. If I wasn't married, vegan would be a requirement for any long-term relationship. Non-vegans would be given 6 months to a year to make the transition. :)

[misanthropy]

My partner is vegan. If I were single, I would only want to have a relationship with another vegan.

Now, if I was just "havin' fun", it really doesn't matter.

[San]

My boyfriend is vegan. We've been together almost two years, and we went vegan together a few months after we started dating. If we break up, I would date an omni, but I couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone who continued to exploit animals after they knew what the explotation entailed.

[Emiloid]

My partner is practically vegan. He is totally vegan when I'm at his house and when he visits me. In fact, in three months I've seen him eat fish once and a cheese/egg dish maybe twice, and only in restaurants. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he eventually becomes vegan. We have a similar set of values, and since he's almost veggie anyway I doubt the transition would be difficult for him.

By the way, when I became single back in January I believed I would end up with a vegetarian or vegan. I was free to chose whomever I wanted to date, so why not be picky? I changed my mind after meeting my current BF, and I'm very glad I gave this guy a chance. I definitely could not date someone who was not respectful of my views or who ate non-vegan foods in my presence more than occasionally.

[heathergalaxy]

i basically have the same story as emiliod but w/ my gf. we even talked if we ever lived together that it'd be a vegan house and if we had kids that they'd be raised vegan, so that's okay as i could never raise omni kids or live in an omni house...

it still weirds me out at times, but being queer and finding someone is hard enough before you add the vegan thing... it also doesn't help that my last gf was vegan and she was a horrible person and was quite abusive in the relationship... that experience made me make sure i found someone who was good to me period, and we'd figure out the rest as we go along...

[fayking]

my partner is vegan...we met online and i didnt even realise she was vegan till i had known her a while...so i guess it was an added bonus! i could probably go out with a veggie but i dont think i could cope with a flesh eater...i went out with a couple in my early years and i found it hard to deal with...
i appear to have found it easy to find veggie/vegan lesbians for some reason...god knows why!

[Dave Noisy]

I live in a 'vegan house', so if i'm not willing to share accomodations with non-vegans..i can't imagine sharing body fluids..heh

[herbi]

A few years ago when I was vegetarian and dating an omni, I probably would've said it was not that big of a deal. Now that I'm a vegan living with a vegan, it's a lot more apparent to me how... well, the poll said "important", but, I might've chosen "much more convenient" or "really cool" it is. :) I could probably deal with a little cheese, but I'd have way less (maybe zero?) tolerance for meat anywhere in my house at this point, whether that's because my veg-ness has become stronger, or that I've just realized, "Hey! I don't HAVE to put up with that!", I'm not sure which. Besides the satisfaction of knowing that you both have similar values/beliefs about at least that one aspect of your lives, it's just one less hassle to argue about. Kind of like having a non-smoking partner. It's SUCH a happy "bonus" to never have to complain about cigarettes or meat, that I guess it spoiled me and now I doubt I'd have it any other way.

Hear that? So no backsliding, mister... ;) :kiss: :heart:
Everyone else, all together now... ---> :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
:D

[gladcow]

my husband and I went vegan together. Now he has moved on to raw. But we are still a vegan household (except he uses raw honey). I would have a very hard time with an omni partner...

[Adams]

Vegan-ness is a must for me too! :yes:

[mountainvegan]

Non-vegans would be given 6 months to a year to make the transition.

Hmmm...giving this further thought, the transition would have to be much quicker, especially in attitude, etc. I'm now guessing more like within a month. :yes:

[shedonteatmeat]

My husband Matt is lacto-veg, very nearly vegan. Our house is vegan, including guests. Very, very important to me that Matt finds veganism eventually. Hopefully sooner than later. For now I'm conent with the once-in-a-long-time never-at-home cheese binge, only because I know he's trying and once he decides on his own to be vegan, he'll stay that way. :)

[jenzie]

It used to be a big deal for me to date only guys that were vegan. However, after going out with more than a couple of vegan dudes that were pretty much jerks, and then going out with some guys that weren't vegan that were awesome... well... it's not such a big deal to me anymore.

What is a big deal, is that whoever I'm dating (and/or in a relationship with) is respectful of my beliefs. :)

I'm seeing a guy right now that isn't vegan, or really even close to veggie. But he's very supportive of my choices, and he is mindful of what he eats when around me.

Maybe if I were looking to get married or settle down foreva and eva I'd be singing a different tune. But as it stands now I'm more concerned with what fills one's heart as opposed to what fills one's stomach.

[attackferret]

I voted that I'm single and I would date someone who wasn't vegan. That being said, I don't know if I could go out with someone long term who didn't at least go vegetarian. I'm with mountainvegan on this one, my date would have to go vegetarian or vegan within a resonable amount of time from the point they met me. Maybe that's why I'm single :rolleyes: I'm not sure how to put it, but I guess veganism just kind of springs from beliefs that are the core of who I am. If whoever I'm dating simply tolerates who I am, and doesn't have the same deeply held beliefs that I have, then I don't see how there could be anything serious between us.

But as it stands now I'm more concerned with what fills one's heart as opposed to what fills one's stomach.

I guess I feel that the reason I fill my stomach the way I do is because of what fills my heart.

[mountainvegan]

the reason I fill my stomach the way I do is because of what fills my heart.

I like that. :thumbsup:

[jenzie]

I guess I feel that the reason I fill my stomach the way I do is because of what fills my heart.

Same here! :) But it's not the same for everyone...

[mountainvegan]

Here’s some philosophical rambling:

One thing about my views on animal rights is that in addition to compassion as a sufficient reason for treating animals with respect, there is logical consistency between accepting certain (not all) human rights and accepting certain similar animal rights which makes vegan living a moral imperative. If one looks at the rationale behind certain basic human rights and accepts that rationale, then one must necessarily accept certain animal rights – not to do so is logically inconsistent.

So, even if someone lacks the compassion, there are logical consistency issues with accepting certain basic secular human rights and rejecting the same rights for non-humans.

To relate this to the topic, a potential partner’s lack of compassion alone would be enough of a turn-off for me to end the relationship in a short time. In addition to the compassion issue, however, there is the logical consistency / moral imperative issue, since most people do accept basic human rights in our society, even if they don’t feel much compassion for those human rights-holders. After a healthy dose of explanation of all of this to the potential partner, they would not only lack compassion, but lack a logical basis for their continued non-vegan behavior. :)

[Justitia]

My boyfriend is lacto-ovo vegetarian, and although I'd love it if he were vegan, I can accept that he's not. I don't think I could seriously date anyone who weren't at least lacto ovo.

I dated a fellow vegan for nearly 7 years (we lived together for 2) and while it was great that we were both vegan, the rest of the relationship was pretty lousy. Long story short, I'll take a loving, attentive, and generous vegetarian over a cold, withholding, and selfish vegan any day! ;)

[Emiloid]

Now that I'm a vegan living with a vegan....

Oh, so you're living together, eh??? Sinful!! ;)

[herbi]

Oh, so you're living together, eh??? Sinful!! ;)

:uhoh: uhhh... I mean... :blush: :silly: :D

[Stitches]

100% single and looking (sporadically browsing is more like it, lol)...and I won't get into a relationship with an omni. No matter how nice they are, I just can't deal with the meat smell. It's too disgusting. I don't know how I put up with my carnivore ex for as long as I did. I *might* date an omni for a while if he was really, really special, but I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with someone who could eat animals. I definitely want to be in an LTR but I'd accept a lacto veggie. I don't want dead animals brought into my house and I'm not willing to raise omnivorous children.

[dviolet]

I'll take a loving, attentive, and generous vegetarian over a cold, withholding, and selfish vegan any day! ;)

My thoughts, exactly. Ted is the best vegan chef that I know (besides those who own a restaurant) and he is a wonderful, loving partner. The fact that he still dabbles in cheese and eggs doesn't take that away. We were both vegetarian when we met, so it would be unfair of me to hold him to any standard stricter than that. Besides, I love him - end of story.
I wouldn't have seriously dated an omni even when I was vegetarian, so that was not an option. I couldn't be with someone and watch them tear apart a carcass. Ewww. I know veggie women who cook meat for their omni husbands and I couldn't imagine doing that.

[Sunshine]

My husband was an outright carnivore when we met - but after "learning the real deal" he went veggie when we got married and vegan just a few months later (we married just 8 months after first meeting) - so I guess that fits into Mountainvegan's timeline. I also made it clear that I could not tolerate meat in my home (up to the marriage we didn't even live in the same state, let alone the same house). We'll be married 11 years in Sept - so it wasn't just a passing fancy for him to appease me - I really am the best thing that ever happened to him if I do say so myself!
Anyway, we have good friend who stays at our house and watches our animals when we go out of town - and we've made our views clear that we don't want any animal products in our home - yuck, cooking meat on my pots and pans would gross me out no matter how much you clean up afterward. And he totally respects that - eats vegan in our home or goes out to eat. So if I don't even want a friend eating meat in my home, I can't imagine a non-vegan partner. Plus, raising our baby-girl-on-the-way vegan was a no-brainer for both of us, not a point of contention as I've heard it can be in mixed relationships.

[Husky Corn Star]

Oh, so you're living together, eh??? Sinful!! ;)

Te he he he he he he !!! :D

Oh, Herbi, who will I massage with my long fingers now ? :umm: ;)

[jennofur]

My boyfriend inspired me to get off the fence, stop being "kind of vegetarian" and really take it into my heart to change my behavior to reflect compassion by going fully vegan. :love: He gives me so much support, because dealing with the world as a new vegan is hard, people! God forbid we weren't together some day, I'd never go back to someone who wasn't vegan or ready to see the light and become so quickly.

[herbi]

Oh, Herbi, who will I massage with my long fingers now ? :umm: ;)

Hey! :brood: You're gonna get me in trouble... ;)

[Husky Corn Star]

Well I'm good at getting into trouble - just think long nimble exploring fingers ... to help you sleep better ;)

[Oatmeal Girl]

Have any of you here dated a vegan or vegetarian when YOU were an omni? Jennofur's post made me curious.

[Emiloid]

Get a room, herbi and Husky! :rolleyes:

[Husky Corn Star]

Get a room, herbi and Husky! :rolleyes:

Only if Daver's tapes us 'in action' ;)

[Beanqueen]

I always thought I would have to settle with a vegan but then had a relationship with a hideous nasty vegan. Am now very in love with a veggie who is almost vegan. I'd love him to make that step but I love him anyway. You can't choose who you fall for I guess.

[Emiloid]

You can't choose who you fall for I guess.
It's true... and to avoid falling for a non-vegan you'd have to avoid even meeting people who aren't vegan. Or, at least I would. Then again, if someone is completely closed to falling for nonvegans I suppose they wouldn't have that problem. There are certain people I wouldn't even consider being with (married folks, right-wingers, alcoholics, religious fanatics, anyone much younger than me...), and I don't have to exercise any willpower to keep from falling for them--I just immediately dismiss them as potential partners. I guess that means I could have been more picky about my partner being vegan. Not that I have any regrets. I think finding a good relationship can be hard enough without reducing your dating pool to less than 1% of the population (or whatever it is these days). As I said before, though, anyone I date or settle down with would have to be respectful of my lifestyle and be mostly vegan, especially in my presence. I'm lucky to be with someone like that right now.

Also, I have to avoid thinking about them not being vegan, because when it comes down to it, I think the whole world should be vegan and don't like to think about the people I love eating unhealthy foods and contributing to social/environmental destruction, etc. It can be downright painful, but a nonvegan romantic partner is no worse than nonvegan friends and family members.

[mountainvegan]

It can be downright painful, but a nonvegan romantic partner is no worse than nonvegan friends and family members.

Nonvegan family and friends are much different to me from a nonvegan S.O.. :) I don't have to be intimate with family and friends. Intimacy is pretty important with an S.O. A nonvegan S.O., however, would be enough of a turn-off that the intimate feeling would indeed get short-curcuited from the start; it would be a nonstarter for me. There would be no accidental "falling for" a nonvegan.

Chances are, I'd be single for a long time, which is okay. I'd much rather be alone than be intimate with someone whose behavior a/o beliefs I had a serious problem with.

[Emiloid]

Nonvegan family and friends are much different to me from a nonvegan S.O.. :) I don't have to be intimate with family and friends.

I guess I was thinking about generally caring about people and having to deal with not being able to control them. It would be a turnoff for me too to be intimate with someone who is not "mostly vegan". IMO, in every relationship there are going to be aspects of a person that you need to overlook (or at least not focus on) for the sake of the general good of the relationship. Also, (very importantly) we all have our own ways of making a difference in the world.

In my own case, the fact that my BF is not quite vegan is eclipsed by his commitment and involvement in social/political issues. He is much more politically and socially active/aware than I have been. I am vegan, and I consider it partly a political action. However, there are things I do (and did)that are out of line with my values. I'm getting better, and part of it is because of my new friend's influence. For example, I used to buy new clothes occasionally, even though I am against sweat-shop labor and consumption of new goods. I am now much more aware of the value of buying used whenever possible. I also ride my bike more than I used to. These things are a lot like being vegan--living your daily life in accordance with your ethical beliefs--and my BF has turned my awareness towards them. I am similarly influencing him. Basically, I believe that my friend and I can both learn a lot from each other and change for the better through each other's influence.

[mountainvegan]

Then again, if someone is completely closed to falling for nonvegans I suppose they wouldn't have that problem. There are certain people I wouldn't even consider being with (married folks, right-wingers, alcoholics, religious fanatics, anyone much younger than me...), and I don't have to exercise any willpower to keep from falling for them.

I guess I was saying that I fall into the "completely closed to falling for nonvegans" category (unless they are willing to change). But I'm sure that's pretty clear by now... :p :D

[misanthropy]

Have any of you here dated a vegan or vegetarian when YOU were an omni? Jennofur's post made me curious.I'm not sure if "dating" is the correct word... I was seeing someone who was vegan and I was omni, but it sooooooo wasn't a serious anything.

[fridayiminlove]

I've never ever dated a vegan or even really a vegetarian. When I first became vegetarian, my bf at the time said he would "try it out" with me. Well after 3 weeks he gave up and I continued to be a lacto-ovo-vegetarian, and continued to be so for a year and then became vegan. Since being vegan my last bf was a omni with "serious health problems that disables him to sustain a vegan diet" RIGHT. I tried to show him the benefits of veganism and the cruelty and such but to no avail. That and a load of other reasons led to our breakup. It's been really hard to find any vegan or even vegetarian guys. It's obvious to me there are more vegan girls than guys! (at least where I live)

Most certainly for marriage, My S.O would absolutely HAVE to be vegan. I can't imagine having it any other way. We will also have an ultra environmentally conscious household. I figure, most parents enforce rules on their kids for trivial things that don't even matter (tattoos, piercings, curfew, movies, music..etc.etc) But we would have rules in our household for things that actually DO matter, like saving water, recycling, conserving energy..etc.etc.

[Emiloid]

... We will also have an ultra environmentally conscious household. I figure, most parents enforce rules on their kids for trivial things that don't even matter (tattoos, piercings, curfew, movies, music..etc.etc) But we would have rules in our household for things that actually DO matter, like saving water, recycling, conserving energy..etc.etc.

Yeah! Me too! :happy:

[QrkyMoon]

I figure, most parents enforce rules on their kids for trivial things that don't even matter (tattoos, piercings, curfew, movies, music..etc.etc) But we would have rules in our household for things that actually DO matter, like saving water, recycling, conserving energy..etc.etc.

Thats awesome! If I ever chose to adopt kids, I would have to take up that philosophy as well.

[QrkyMoon]

My current bf isnt vegan, or even veggie. And I think b4 me he had only known of one other vegan... not sure if he really even knew many, if any, veggies. But, its b/c of the town he grew up in. Its seriously the 50s. Almost everyones close w/ their kids, families all have dinner together each night, rarely do people have sex outside of serious relationships (and this is only w/in my generation), etc, etc... and vegetarianism just doesnt exist.

While he doesnt think he could ever go vegan, he has said that if we get married (although Im going to insist upon this also happening if we move in together) he would have to go veggie. (To which one of his friends said, when he told them about it, that he might as well just chop off his balls now and give them to me... hehe.) When hes at my house, he does eat any vegan food I make and enjoys it. And is super supportive of my lifestyle and thinks its awesome that I am a vegan and am willing to give up all this food I really like (omg do I miss real pizza!!!) b/c its what I believe in.

He also is really supportive of me wanting to save every animal that needs help and is fine w/ the fact that if we do ever live together that we will constantly have rescues in and out of our house. (Although he does seem to think he can ban cats from the bedroom... some weird crumph about not liking to sleep in cat hair... ??? Not sure why he feels that way, though ;) )

While I really would like my S.O. to be vegan, I know its a hard transition to make and am willing to put up w/ him just being veggie (so long as our house is vegan, minus the occassional pizza leftovers), as long as he is supportive of my wish to rescue animals. I realize that him being vegan would save more than I could ever do by working at a rescue, but I cant, and wont, change him and rescuing animals is my true passion. If he decides to go vegan, it has to be because he wants to be vegan, otherwise he will resent me and he wont stay vegan. (Though I can help things along by guilt tripping him... I have no issues w/ that :D )

As for crossing off ppl just b/c they arent vegan/veggie... youre going to miss out on a lot. My bf is amazing and puts up w/ so much from me and has even been really helping me to rescue a whole bunch of cats and dogs from the shelter of the city he works for. He has taken me out to the shelter during his free time so I can take pics to post on the internet, so I can adopt out animals, so I can pick up animals to bring to the vet, has driven almost an hour round trip at the drop of a hat to pick up a cat from me that tested positive for feline leukemia and to comfort me and has, at the last min, raced to the vet right after work to pick up animals b/c I was at work and couldnt leave early.

Everyone grows up with different morals and ethics in their households... for him it was never wrong or weird to eat animals. His dad has even told me he doesnt really understand the vegan thing as the animals he eats are bred and raised to be eaten. Its not necessarily wrong to think like this... its just uneducated. So him eating meat doesnt mean he doesnt love animals- he does. He just doesnt associate animals w/ what hes eating. And as soon as he starts to do that, he has a really hard time eating meat. Hes already thinking of giving up pork b/c he went to a farm animal rescue w/ me and met some pigs- pigs that were rescued from the slaughter house. Which made him realize that everytime he eats bacon, ham, or sausage hes eating Libby, which really upsets him.

I have to say, Im definitely glad Im dating an omni, b/c I do think he will eventually change- and not b/c of me but b/c I made him face the truth. And woohoo... thats one more perminate victory for the animals.

[meatless]

My husband is lacto-ovo vegetarian, but I voted yes because it's sure better than omnivorous! I am not vegan yet myself either, I am a trace-ingredient non-avoider. :)

[beka]

my boyfriend is vegan!!! i can't believe it!! it's so crazy...i never thought he'd go vegan..or even expect it from him... he has been vegetarian since i met him. one day on the phone, he just said "yeah so i've decided that i want to be vegan. i'm going to finish up my last box of macaroni and cheese, and then i'm done." we're moving in together soon and i am so happy that our fridge is going to be 100% vegan. excitingggg!

so, obviously, veganism isn't the most important thing to me. i would not be able to handle a meat-eater, though. so, at least vegetarian. i know, i know..meat is just as bad as milk/eggs...but it sure doesn't look as bad. like, i couldn't cry while watching someone i love drink some milk, but i sure could cry if my love was munchin' on a big old hunkka flesh.

[FalafelsRule]

I would love to have a vegan girlfriend.

[catlike]

It used to be a requirement for me that the guy/girl I date was at least a vegetarian, but I was always single because of it. I am more open to other things. I will never again date a strict carnivore but some one who eats meat occassionaly doesn't bother me as long as they will eat vegan too. I just started dating a guy who on our first date made me a vegan dinner and dessert. :o and he eats range free eggs and organic milk. He could be a keeper :D

[catlike]

update no longer dating the "keeper". Long story. I would love to find a vegan but it can be difficult. And as I've said I don't want to close myself off. Some people could learn your reasons and decide for themselves that vegan is the way to go.

[chenresig]

well i am happily married to a vegan these days :) that said, i don't think i ever used to think that a prospective girlfriend had to be a vegan or vegetarian, it just generally turned out that i tended to be attracted to women who also were veggie. relationships tend to work and last when you have shared values. of course, when you are initially "in-love" all that goes out the window.... :D

[punkmommy]

I'm a lucky lady, I'm married to a vegan guy :D

[Vegan Dog's Life]

My husband is an omni, but barely. When we first started dating, he ate McD's almost daily, so he's come a very long way. He can go for weeks without eating any meat. Other than his diet, he's pretty much vegan, though. Won't buy leather, wool, etc.. So, he is trying, little by little.

I'm not completely vegan myself, so we grow with each other. After all, it is a journey, not a destination. :)

[spidermonkey]

I used to think that I could date a non-vegan as long as we had a lot of other things in common, but now I'm having second thoughts. :confused:

[Descentia]

After I broke up with my last partner (he was lacto-ovo) I was determined to find a vegan partner. But I recently fell for someone who is also lacto-ovo. He ate meat occassionally when we met, but had previously been veg for years. He now never eats meat, and was happy to replace any non vegan household products in his home when I explained how I felt any why - he feels very similar about animal rights, he just needs more time to get used to the thought of living without milk and cheese. Hard when he cannot drink soy milk :(

[wolfie]

It can be downright painful, but a nonvegan romantic partner is no worse than nonvegan friends and family members.

Unless there are kids involved, which is one of the main reasons I won't bother with omnis anymore. Should there be a kid in my future, he/she will not be raised to think that murdering animals is "normal."

Living where I do, I'll likely be single for a loooong time.

[FalafelsRule]

I'll likely be single for a loooong time.

Join the club. :blank:

[jagged-little-pill]

I would love a vegan bf but I don't think that's really that realistic as I don't know any vegitarian guys let alone vegan...:( I think that as long as he respected why I was vegan and didn't constantly bug me about it then It wouldn't really matter what he ate...but I would find it much easier to appreciate him if he was vegan...ohhhhhhhhhhh...and he's have to brush his teeth and mouthwash after every unvegan meal...:(


That reminds me...anyone know any singe vegan guys in the south wales area? lol :confused: :rolleyes:

[kimmysoo]

... that you can change! ;)

I read somewhere that only 0.2% - one fifth of one percent - of the U.S. are vegans.

Forgive my geekiness while I break down the numbers...

211,066,429 Last Census Adult Population

422,132 Vegan Adults (18 and over)

168,852 Vegan Men (I'm using a 60-40 ratio based on internet research)

101,311 Single Vegan Men (I assumed 40% are in relationships - pretty scientific, eh?)

20,262 Single Vegan Men I Might Have Chemistry With

405 Single Vegan Men I Might Have Chemistry With Living in Michigan (I just divided by 50)

And this doesn't even take into account gay vs. straight vegans. It's slim pickings out there!

My boyfriend of a year and a half is an omni... we now live together and our house is completely veg - near vegan actually except for the occasional bag of shredded cheese or frozen cheese pizza he buys. He eats meat every now and then when he's with his friends, but never in front of me. Kids aren't an issue because we both don't want any. We recycle and reuse like crazy, our garden is 100% veganic and we only buy vegan household/personal care products. Sure, I have hope he might go totally vegan one day, but I'll love him no matter what he decides... we have amazing chemistry, he's good to me, we have fun together, he's respectful of my beliefs... I could go on. :heart:

[Lacykitten]

kimmysoo - you're where I hope to be in the future with my boyfriend :)

Though we both want kid(s) eventually. We've not discussed beyond that because, well. I'm barely 22, I'm not in a rush to have kids and neither is he ;)

[CaptainSwab]

My husband is an omni.

I never have a problem with him. If I cook, it is vegan. He does most of the cooking though and he never has a problem veganizing my stuff.

In fact, I have even gotten him into vegan cooking. He is always baking vegan cookies, muffins, and other things.

I have even gotten him into really loving cheeseless pizza! That even surprised me!

Whenever we go out anywhere, he always makes sure things are vegan for me. For example, we were at a buffet and I got refried beans and he actually leaned over and asked me if I checked to see if they had lard in them.

I consider myself to be lucky. :love:

[downwithapathy]

:love: <- Makes me smile. :):):)

Sincerest apologies for the senseless post. :love:

[kimmysoo]

My husband is an omni.

Whenever we go out anywhere, he always makes sure things are vegan for me. For example, we were at a buffet and I got refried beans and he actually leaned over and asked me if I checked to see if they had lard in them.

That is the cutest sweetest thing! You are, indeed, a lucky girl! :happy: My BF reads labels as much - if not more than - me (I've been vegan for so long I already know a lot of what's what in the stores)... if I toss something into the grocery cart without reading the label he sometimes takes it out and checks it for me. And he's always surprising me with cool new vegan treats.

I have to admit, it used to really bother me deep down into my soul that he doesn't "get it" and continues to eat meat now and then. He does support my activism and has even spent many weekends leafletting with me, but he does it for ME - not for the animals. :( I used to wonder if I was doing myself a disservice by being with someone so fundamentally different... but I got incredibly sad every time I thought about ending the relationship because he's not vegan. The bottom line is we're in a mutually respectful, loving relationship... and that's what's important.

[buddadragon]

My mouser is the veganest :heart: :yes:

[clusswoman]

Captainswab made me feel much better. I was hanging my head in shame. My husband is omni but I live and let live because even though he eats meat :mad: , he is truly my soulmate in every other way. In fact, the only time we argue is when I start harrassing him about going veg. He eats my vegan meals and likes a lot of them but is stubborn. I would love to have a vegan mate but am so thankful I found my Brian because there is truly no one else out there like him. :smitten: (although he did just call me a communist yesterday after a discussion on animal cruelty :laugh: )

[grog]

* bump *

I'm curious, due to recent conversations, about this vegan+omni relationship dynamic I've been hearing about.

My main curiosity is for those of you in long term vegan + omni relationships. I don't dispute (maybe) letting veganism get in the way of true love. But when someone has been together for a length of time (years) and the SO *remains* omni, is the issue I'm interested in.

Given that, for some of us, compassion and ethics are at the root of veganism, I find it hard to understand that these omni SO's wouldn't make the switch, given time, encouragement, education, etc. Since its clearly (to moi) the compassionate and correct choice to do. I'm sadly single, and would date an omni, but I would have a hard time with a person I loved for years and lived with, if they, for whatever reason, refused to "get it". Especially considering most people comprimise and grow in relationships, if this one vegan issue didn't fall into that category, I would have a hard time, as I would feel at heart my SO just didn't give a damn about suffering and cruelty.

I am in no way meaning to attack anyone's SO or relationship, I'm just interested in peoples thoughts on this.

If I think of it in a religious sense, then I have the opposite view, which probably just means I'm contrary and logically inconsistent. But were I say to fall in love with and get married to a Jehova's witness. I would *never* come to accept that as my faith. But I feel believing in some unknown and unprovable god is logically a different thing than being educated and informed about animal suffering and then choosing to ignore it. If "tha lord" manifested in front of me, I would get religion in a hurry. If someone knows about factory farming, animal suffering, etc. and *chooses* to ignore it... :confused:

[Ariann]

If I think of it in a religious sense, then I have the opposite view, which probably just means I'm contrary and logically inconsistent. But were I say to fall in love with and get married to a Jehova's witness. I would *never* come to accept that as my faith. But I feel believing in some unknown and unprovable god is logically a different thing than being educated and informed about animal suffering and then choosing to ignore it. If "tha lord" manifested in front of me, I would get religion in a hurry. If someone knows about factory farming, animal suffering, etc. and *chooses* to ignore it... :confused:

That's interesting, I think of religion and veganism in partners being parallel issues. But that's why I wouldn't start dating someone who didn't share my religious views and it's the same reason I wouldn't start dating someone who wasn't originally sympathetic to veganism before I came into the picture. And if I did, I wouldn't expect the person to change in either case (or me to change).

[clusswoman]

I really don't like that my husband eats meat--plain and simple. But I cannot explain to you how much I love him. I wasn't vegan when we first married so how can I look at our relationship differently now? Do I think I'm more empathetic then him, of course. Does his lack of awareness confuse me...well, yes---but I cannot ignore his heart. He gives back to the community big time---and whenever he gets a good raise, he just gives to someone else. He was left with a baby and a nine year old when he was 31 and was an excellent and loving father until I could come and take some of his burden. He let me quit my job to pursue my dreams of becoming a writer, tells me all the time that he cannot understand how, of all the men in the world, that he was lucky enough that I picked "him". (which is crazy)

I am a true vegan...I care about animal rights but I also respect others too much to be militant. My mother always told me that you get more flies with honey...and she's right. I change more minds with patience and tolerance.

I guess it's just like with religion. I don't buy into anybody else's description of what God is or how I should behave. Just like being a vegan...I don't feel like I'm less of one because I have compassion for the animal that I married!! (lol--that was a joke, btw)

[kimmysoo]

My omni boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. I've been vegan for almost seven years. Before I went vegan I was involved in animal rescue, which quickly blossomed into hardcore activism. I was involved in issues like vivisection, puppy mills, pound seizure etc. and it took me a while (maybe 2 years) to "get it" and make the connection with food animals. I know how wrong that is looking back now, but it's just how it was and there's no need for apologies.

My point is most of us weren't born vegan activists or environmentalists. It took me 30 years to become one! So how can I judge others (especially the people I love) for still eating meat? Some might say those are exactly the ones we should judge. "How could they still eat meat/wear fur/buy from breeders if they loved and respected me?" Personally, I don't see it that way. I've found the longer I'm vegan the more compassion and understanding I have for all life... including PEOPLE.

In my case, my boyfriend has evolved to the point of being vegan at home and mostly vegetarian outside of our home. I can live with that and no longer feel I'm doing myself a disservice by being with someone that's not vegan.

This is only my opinion... I certainly can see why some vegans would/could only be with another vegan. I just happen to see both sides of the issue. :)

[stoffer]

I think a lot of meat eaters do 'get it' when it comes to animal welfare issues, or to put it another way, they would get it if they really faced up to the issues. A lot of people couldn't bare the thought of living without meat, so they they choose to ignore the moral issues, or keep them to the back of their mind. It's like people who are addicted to smoking; they know what the health risks are but they choose to ignore them because it's far too difficult and frightening an issue.

[kimmysoo]

I think a lot of meat eaters do 'get it' when it comes to animal welfare issues, or to put it another way, they would get it if they really faced up to the issues. A lot of people couldn't bare the thought of living without meat, so they they choose to ignore the moral issues, or keep them to the back of their mind. It's like people who are addicted to smoking; they know what the health risks are but they choose to ignore them because it's far too difficult and frightening an issue.
Well said. :thumbsup: People turn away from the truth because it allows them to keep doing what they're doing, whether that's eating meat, smoking or anything else. Facing it means looking within yourself and a lot of people are uncomfortable doing that.

[kikkert]

Most of my family, mates, and co-workers fall into the "get it but don't want to actually think about it" category. I'm perhaps a reason they end up thinking about animal issues because of being an openly vegan person who expects to be respected at all times. The subject of food always becomes part of the conversation, though I rarely start it and usually try to end it. Who wants to discuss all the reason to not eat meat while eating? I certainly don't.

Regarding partners, I became vegan while married to someone who had no interest in also becoming vegan. We did not have a vegan kitchen and had a big problem sharing the fridge and cooker with meat and dairy residue. It was a very difficult couple of years until we decided to part ways. While my vegan cooking was appreciated and enjoyed (I still get requests for cookies, tuno casserole, etc) it was simply not something either of us could compromise on (among other things). I have attempted to date omnis since then and veganism always presented a problem until last year when I met a transitioning omni-vegetarian who did not want to go vegan.... who eventually did go vegan (for the most part). We've become very good friends due in large part to understanding each other where complex issues of veganism are concerned.

[Chijou_no_seiza]

Well I picked that I would not have to date a vegan even though I would definitily prefer it. I think that's because my family has tolerated (no supported is better) my vegetarianism since I was a child. I think personally it'd be wrong to not accept others as who they are. I never have attempted to "convert" any of my friends to veganisim or vegetarianism. But I think I am attracted to people with similiar values (or at least respect and support mine). But in the least I'd have to have an omni that at least brushed his teeth after his offensive eatting :D , because that's what my last omni bf was so kind to do (without my asking! He even insisited upon it!). I think that's all I could ask for! :O)

~Teresa

[ConsciousCuisine]

* bump *

If I think of it in a religious sense, then I have the opposite view, which probably just means I'm contrary and logically inconsistent. But were I say to fall in love with and get married to a Jehova's witness. I would *never* come to accept that as my faith. But I feel believing in some unknown and unprovable god is logically a different thing than being educated and informed about animal suffering and then choosing to ignore it. If "tha lord" manifested in front of me, I would get religion in a hurry. If someone knows about factory farming, animal suffering, etc. and *chooses* to ignore it... :confused:

Well, I have to share that you would *not* be able to marry a Jehovah's Witness unless you were also one or lied and pretended to be one without really believeing. Your spouse would be "disfellowshipped" if they entered a relationship/marriage with a non-believer.


I get what you mean though; just had to let you know...I am *not* one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I just was raised in that religion and attended meetings 3+ times weekly and saw stuff that went down that would make the people who are labeled "Vegan Police" or "purist" look like softies :o There's not alot of compassion shown for "deviating" from their doctrine... :confused:

[kkohne]

* bump *

I'm curious, due to recent conversations, about this vegan+omni relationship dynamic I've been hearing about.

My main curiosity is for those of you in long term vegan + omni relationships. I don't dispute (maybe) letting veganism get in the way of true love. But when someone has been together for a length of time (years) and the SO *remains* omni, is the issue I'm interested in.

Given that, for some of us, compassion and ethics are at the root of veganism, I find it hard to understand that these omni SO's wouldn't make the switch, given time, encouragement, education, etc. Since its clearly (to moi) the compassionate and correct choice to do. I'm sadly single, and would date an omni, but I would have a hard time with a person I loved for years and lived with, if they, for whatever reason, refused to "get it". Especially considering most people comprimise and grow in relationships, if this one vegan issue didn't fall into that category, I would have a hard time, as I would feel at heart my SO just didn't give a damn about suffering and cruelty.

I am in no way meaning to attack anyone's SO or relationship, I'm just interested in peoples thoughts on this.

If I think of it in a religious sense, then I have the opposite view, which probably just means I'm contrary and logically inconsistent. But were I say to fall in love with and get married to a Jehova's witness. I would *never* come to accept that as my faith. But I feel believing in some unknown and unprovable god is logically a different thing than being educated and informed about animal suffering and then choosing to ignore it. If "tha lord" manifested in front of me, I would get religion in a hurry. If someone knows about factory farming, animal suffering, etc. and *chooses* to ignore it... :confused:

I think that veganism is very much like a religion, logically. For example, many of us view animal suffering as being logically similar to human suffering. We sympathize with the animals that are killed. We take it on faith, really, that animals are worthy of the same (or at least similar) rights as people.

So I choose to tolerate my hubby's difference of faith. Now, if he were out burning puppies or such I'd dump him. But since I married him as an omni that would be pretty logically inconsistent, KWIM?

[grog]

So I choose to tolerate my hubby's difference of faith. Now, if he were out burning puppies or such I'd dump him. But since I married him as an omni that would be pretty logically inconsistent, KWIM?

But he is burning puppies, basically, or chicken beak, etc. etc. Just because you were omni when you married him, you've changed and grown and realize the issues. He clearly hasn't. So suddenly you (hypothetical you, nothing personal) are married to a puppy burner. If the puppy burner stands firm and refuses to acknowledge it, that's what I find intersting about these discussions. Obviously I think love takes precidence in these issues. But if he were literally burning puppies out back, and say both you used to do it, and you realized it was now horrible and wrong, and he continued, you'd probably leave him.

The only difference here between back yard puppy burning and factory farms is one of distance and deception, as its all hidden away. But its still happening.

[kkohne]

But he is burning puppies, basically, or chicken beak, etc. etc. Just because you were omni when you married him, you've changed and grown and realize the issues. He clearly hasn't. So suddenly you (hypothetical you, nothing personal) are married to a puppy burner. If the puppy burner stands firm and refuses to acknowledge it, that's what I find intersting about these discussions. Obviously I think love takes precidence in these issues. But if he were literally burning puppies out back, and say both you used to do it, and you realized it was now horrible and wrong, and he continued, you'd probably leave him.

The only difference here between back yard puppy burning and factory farms is one of distance and deception, as its all hidden away. But its still happening.

I'm referring to burning a puppy and then NOT eating it. i.e. receiving no potential utility whatsoever from the suffering caused. Also, intentionally choosing a method of torture/killing that is one of the cruelest imaginable plays into that. It's slightly different than eating an animal you kill (as humanely as possible) from a utilitarian perspective morally/ethically. Ideally nobody would be killing animals at all, but if they feel they must, I'd prefer it to be done as humanely as possible and then every single scrap utilized to maximize the value of the sacrifice made.

I have given this some thought and decided that I'm actually GLAD that I married an omni. I realize that there are a few major advantages to it the biggest of which are:
(1) evangelizing veganism to nonvegans. Let's face it: if I married a vegan I would be preaching to the choir, wouldn't I? I have a much higher chance of minimizing animal cruelty by exposing my vegan practices to non-vegans. And it is most likely to be effective with people who get the most exposure to it.
(2) by living with a vegan, my omni husband uses far fewer animal products than he would if he were living with an omni or alone. For example, he will usually eat vegan food if I prepare it. Last night, for example, we had grilled vegan rueben sandwiches. If he were on his own, it would have been something dead. In fact, I'd say his consumption is cut at least in half (maybe more) if I'm cooking than compared to his "default" behavior. I figure I've added 1/2 a vegan to the world by marrying an omni compared to adding 0 vegans if I'd married someone who was already vegan.
(3) I now purchase only cruelty free products for BOTH of us. So his shampoo is animal-friendly now and so are all the other household products we use if I buy them.
(4) Organic produce and animal products - I buy organic and free-range as much as possible. And though I feel sick buying eggs and beef (which is rare), I figure it might make a tiny difference in the overall suffering if the few times I do buy it for him, it is as cruelty free as possible. (Compared to the alternative of him purchasing godonlyknowswhat at the cheapest price possible).

So it does offer (logically) some advantages. But that doesn't make it any easier when we have to buy a new sofa (leather v. cloth). :umm:

[Nanashi]

Once you convert him you should leave him and convert another then right? :p

[kkohne]

Once you convert him you should leave him and convert another then right? :p

LOL. I don't hold out much hope for a total conversion. If nothing else, the shoe snob in him will demand leather shoes (gag). I figure if I can make gradual vegan intrusions into his omni life, I'll count myself lucky. :happy:

[trichaos]

I love how these old polls pop up on my front page, then I revive the thread by responding.

Being single, I've pondered this question before even seeing the poll. I don't think I could settle down with someone who was not vegan. The differences in core values would just be too great.

The ironic thing is- a couple months before turning vegan, I asked a girl out for lunch, and turned out she was vegan. We went a couple times, but she wasn't interested in anything further. Now I wonder if it had something to do with the chicken corpse on my plate? :puke:

It may be easier to find someone featured on America's Most Wanted than another vegan hottie. I dunno.

[FalafelsRule]

It may be easier to find someone featured on America's Most Wanted than another vegan hottie. I dunno.

:laugh:

Actually, there are plenty of single vegan gals. The problem for me is, none like me in that way. :p

I had a vegan gal for a shot period of time and just wasn't good enough for her.

I, too, want a vegan partner but at the same time, I am getting used to life alone so if I do not ever meet someone that actually wants me, I can live with that.

I am not going to have a relationship with an omni under any circumstance.

[Oatmeal Girl]

I love my omni boy. He's very caring, funny, sweet, and smart. He's got a lot of goals for the future and a lot of dedication to what he loves. He's a healthy eater (as healthy as an omni can be), he loves to cook vegan food with me, and he loves taking me out to eat for vegan dinners. He doesn't drink or smoke, doesn't have any issues like jealousy or over-protectiveness, and he's pretty much my favorite person in the world. I used to be really bothered by the fact that he eats meat (no red, at least), but I love him too much to let it affect our relationship. My point is that I wouldn't disregard a person just because they are omni because there are so many wonderful things about people that you might be missing! Veganism is such a personal thing- if he respects my beliefs (and he does) then I'll respect his.

[stegan]

It may be easier to find someone featured on America's Most Wanted than another vegan hottie. I dunno.

Don't they catch a bunch of those people every week? Hm- maybe we should take hope from that then :D

Then again, I'll take hope where I can get it in that arena :)

[FalafelsRule]

My point is that I wouldn't disregard a person just because they are omni because there are so many wonderful things about people that you might be missing!

Obviously, I do not share your enthusiasm with regards to having a relationship with an omni. They can be "wonderful" in all sorts of aspects, but for me the most important aspect, over all others, is that they be vegan. Even if I meet a vegan that is lacking in some areas, I'd still choose her over an omni that was perfect in every way but their diet.

I am glad it works for you :) , but that would bother me to no end. For me, there is not even any point in me having a relationship with an omni. I will gladly choose a life of being alone over that.

I don't even think I could be with a lacto-ovo. Dairy and eggs annoy me just as much as animal flesh does.

[Terry]

What you said, oatmeal girl. I know so many great omnis. I would love to be with someone who shared my sensitivities, but I can't make it a must.

[grog]

My kitties are vegan and I :heart: them, so does that count :)

[FalafelsRule]

My kitties are vegan and I :heart: them, so does that count :)

Sure! :happy:

[seitanicvegan]

I am currently single, but if I were to get involved with someone, I would not require that person to be vegan. HOWEVER, support of my veganism must be complete. No compromises.

Of course, I would be totally happy to get involved with another vegan. It's just that I don't meet many single vegan men. :( This is what I get for living in a bum hick town. But I digress.

[Stitches]

Well, I'm back on the market again. I went out with a vegan boy a few times but he blew me off, so he can screw himself. Being a single vegan is hard enough, but when you look like I do - curvy, pale, and brunette - in liposuctioned, bottle-blonde, fake-baked OC, you really scare people.

Dammit.

[seitanicvegan]

Well, I'm back on the market again. I went out with a vegan boy a few times but he blew me off, so he can screw himself. Being a single vegan is hard enough, but when you look like I do - curvy, pale, and brunette - in liposuctioned, bottle-blonde, fake-baked OC, you really scare people.

Dammit.

LOL! I grew up in OC. Mission Viejo and Laguna Niguel. I totally understand. I won't even consider living down there again. Ever.

[VeganArtist]

Most of us were not lucky enough to be raised from birth as a vegan. So, that means that most of us made the choice for ourselves at some point in our lives to become vegan. Most of us, at some point were omnis. Everyone has the potential to change.

I think that a person can love someone for many different reasons. If we all loved someone that was exactly like us, then there would be no love. Everyone is unique. If I were still an omni, and a vegan blew me off because of it, it would probably turn me away from veganism. To stay in a "vegan" box, and not let any non-vegans inside is like a cult. I don't want to be thought of as a vegan "snob". I am not saying that anyone that posted here is a snob. I am just saying that I feel that it might come across that way to omnis. Everyone has reasons for why they do or don't do certain things in life. Give them at least the "chance" to change, while listening to their reasons as well.

I totally understand the inclination of a vegan to want to be with another vegan, but to let that single fact determine your love for someone seems closed off. If that is your preference, that is cool, but it isn't necessary. I think that we can get caught up in trying to make our lives totally, purely vegan, which is great, but not realistic at this point. Almost everything contains animal products. In my opinion, the world, at this time, is not "pure". It's VERY cool to try, but I don't think that you should let it affect your feelings for other human beings, who may never again be exposed to veganism. They may never get the chance to "truly" decide without bias. If you shut them out, it really doesn't give them much incentive to try veganism at all. In fact they are likely to bad-mouth it.

I understand that veganism means a great deal to us, but I think that being a little more open to others who have not yet understood, would spread the word a lot more quickly than staying closed off to the rest of the world. In my opinion, it takes courage to be around others that are unlike yourself, especially those that challenge your beliefs. This can be thought of in different ways. On one hand, it takes courage for us to be around the omnis because we feel strongly about our beliefs, and to see others not feeling as strongly disturbs us a great deal. We would rather not feel uncomfortable and have to explain our decision every time we don't eat animal products. Yes, it is annoying as heck, but like I mentioned, it takes courage to stand up for what you believe in. On the other hand, it takes courage for the omnis to be around us because I think that our beliefs are intimidating to them. So why not make it less intimidating, and show them that they don't have to be "perfect" around us? They are the ones who still need to make the change - we, as vegans, have already done so. Vegans aren't ethically perfect either. Veganism, to me, is a constant learning experience. Do you remember when you first learned about gelatin?

Omnis are not bad people. They have lots of good things about them, just like vegans. The single fact that they eat meat does not make them evil. Most of us have been raised eating meat. It "seems" "normal" to most people. We might think that they are cruel for exploiting animals, but that is just because we already know what needs to be known in order to "get" the concept. It will take a lot of work on our part to un-do what has been done, regarding unnecessary animal exploitation. A lot of omnis just need to be informed, some need a little more convincing, and some may never change because of reasons that might be too deep in their psyche for anyone to understand. Looking at the big picture, veganism is about compassion for all living things. Humans are complex... deal with it. Don't avoid it. You can't force someone to be vegan, but you can give him or her the facts, and let them decide for themselves. They may decide instantly, it may take many years, or they may decide and then change their mind. Loving someone who is not vegan might seem like a contradiction in our beliefs, but it really isn't when you look at the big picture. :blank:

[kimmysoo]

My BF is omni, so I personally don't have an issue with it. But everyone's different and to some vegans being omni is an instant deal breaker as far as their significant other.

Most of us were not lucky enough to be raised from birth as a vegan. So, that means that most of us made the choice for ourselves at some point in our lives to become vegan. Most of us, at some point were omnis. Everyone has the potential to change.

Good point. I went vegan almost 7 years ago when I was 30. My BF is 29, so he's got one more year to become enlightened or he's outta here. ;) :p

[schmeel]

Veganartist is on FIRE!

Yeah, word is born.

I'm lucky enough to be dating a Vegan, but I have a feeling if she weren't vegan I would have still fallen head-overoheels, ass-over-tea-kettle for her. I'd also like to hope that had I not been vegan she would have still thought I was neat enough to give me a chance....hmmmmm. :worried: Who knows.

But I think loves all about feelings and you should go with those, and kick criteria in the nads.

[kikkert]

So, that means that most of us made the choice for ourselves at some point in our lives to become vegan. Most of us, at some point were omnis. Everyone has the potential to change.

Since adopting a vegan diet and lifestyle seven years ago, I have yet to date a bloke who was vegan before I met him because so many other factors seemed more important. Now I realize that many of the factors that I once considered to be more important are part and parcel to my concept of veganism – including respect for the earth and all inhabitants, environmental issues, feminism, human rights and anti-slavery, peace and nonviolence.

I went vegan on my own, after a lot of research and introspection, without a vegan community or network of vegans in my life. Most people in my life just 'didn't get it' when I tried to explain it, or they were offended, and many other negative reactions. There were so many supposed larger problems that seemed more important, so why was I wasting my time caring so much about the treatment of farm animals? So I thought that if I focused on other things that meant a lot to me then I would be happy with a non-vegan partner.

But the plain fact is veganism means so much to me at my core that being with someone who doesn't share such a fundamental value is really not good for me. I have absolutely no interest in investing time on a case by case basis to convert potential partners by proselytizing or showing them the path to enlightenment. I would much rather be romantically involved with someone who figured it out for himself.

[FalafelsRule]

But the plain fact is veganism means so much to me at my core that being with someone who doesn't share such a fundamental value is really not good for me. I have absolutely no interest in investing time on a case by case basis to convert potential partners by proselytizing or showing them the path to enlightenment. I would much rather be romantically involved with someone who figured it out for himself.

Great post. :)

[ott]

I need to get out of Alabama.

[jenzie]

Omnis are not bad people. They have lots of good things about them, just like vegans. The single fact that they eat meat does not make them evil. Most of us have been raised eating meat. It "seems" "normal" to most people. We might think that they are cruel for exploiting animals, but that is just because we already know what needs to be known in order to "get" the concept. It will take a lot of work on our part to un-do what has been done, regarding unnecessary animal exploitation. A lot of omnis just need to be informed, some need a little more convincing, and some may never change because of reasons that might be too deep in their psyche for anyone to understand. Looking at the big picture, veganism is about compassion for all living things. Humans are complex... deal with it. Don't avoid it. You can't force someone to be vegan, but you can give him or her the facts, and let them decide for themselves. They may decide instantly, it may take many years, or they may decide and then change their mind. Loving someone who is not vegan might seem like a contradiction in our beliefs, but it really isn't when you look at the big picture. :blank:

Rock on, VeganArtist! :thumbsup:

[Artichoke47]

I agree; great post.

Some men (and women) are too wonderful to pass up! :silly:

[trichaos]

I agree; great post.

Some men (and women) are too wonderful to pass up! :silly:
I posted earlier that I didn't think I could settle down with someone who wasn't vegan. I think it's really easy for me to say that when I'm single and not seeing anyone at the moment.

I think if I met an omni that knocked me on my ass, I would give her a chance as long as she respected my views. I went out for a drink with some co-workers after work last night, and the birthday girl had some friends show up.. anyway one of them caught my attention big-time and I caught myself thinking even if she was eating a bloody steak, I'd still wanna crawl under the table and <use your imagination here>. So that made me rethink my earlier response. It's not so cut-n-dry, a lot of variables for me. She left before I could get her number <trichaos kicks himself repeatedly>

[Emiloid]

...anyway one of them caught my attention big-time and I caught myself thinking even if she was eating a bloody steak, I'd still wanna crawl under the table and <use your imagination here>.
Dang, trichaos! This is a FAMILY forum! I can't believe you're suggesting such smut here. That you would actually have us picture you under the table tickling her feet! My goodness. I have to go wash my eyes out now.

[Artichoke47]

Well, don't listen to me. I'm dating someone who I just can't say enough positive things about AND he's almost vegan.

[trichaos]

Dang, trichaos! This is a FAMILY forum! I can't believe you're suggesting such smut here. That you would actually have us picture you under the table tickling her feet! My goodness. I have to go wash my eyes out now.
hmmm... I do like to start at the feet :D

[SkippyCheval]

^^ Haha :)



Personally I could never be in a long-term relationship with someone who's not vegan, but short-term: yes. I could try to change the person, and if she never understands, I'd just be annoyed and could not go on loveing that person.


she was eating a bloody steak, I'd still wanna crawl under the table and <use your imagination here>


:D Actually; I could love a non veggie but.. seeing someone eat flesh (Especially red meat) is a huge turn off. It would make me sick more then anything; imagine kissing someone who just ate.. ugh.

Nope.

[Stitches]

You know what? I need a button (or t-shirt) that says "If you're vegan, I'm single." The Vegan Porn "Want Some?" cards are a great idea, but too direct for shy little me.

[FalafelsRule]

You know what? I need a button (or t-shirt) that says "If you're vegan, I'm single."

When you find those let me know.

That still won't fix the other factors keeping me single ... "you may be vegan but you still are not this, this (x30), and that". :blank:

[Emiloid]

That still won't fix the other factors keeping me single ... "you may be vegan but you still are not this, this (x30), and that". :blank:I hope you're talking about the other person.... :worried:

[FalafelsRule]

I hope you're talking about the other person.... :worried:

What I am saying is, although I am vegan, potential vegan mates find all kind of other reasons to not be attracted to me. On the other hand, I tend to be attracted to women just because they are vegan. It is the single most important factor in my selection process.

[beane]

ass-over-tea-kettle

I mostly wanted to say I really liked that phrase. :p

I recently started dating a girl who is vegetarian. I used to have a rule about dating anyone non-veg, but I abandoned it some time ago. However, vegetarianism or veganism is definately something I look for in a person.

I tend to be attracted to women just because they are vegan. It is the single most important factor in my selection process.

I definately relate to this statement.

[bluedawg]

i find this thread really interesting. i have been thinking about this a lot lately, partially because i'm a vegan married to an omni, and partially because i recently taught the attraction portion of my class and we talked a lot about "similarities in core values, attitudes, beliefs" and all that good stuff.

when i met my husband i was lacto-ovo and i didn't even know any other vegetarians. my previous boyfriend had been very supportive of my vegetarianism, and my now-husband was as well, and at the time that is all that mattered to me.

during the time that i was dating my now-husband, my sister went lacto-ovo (but her boyfriend-now-husband was omni, like mine). during that time i also met two vegetarian girls who became good friends of mine.

i didn't go vegan until this past fall, and i am the only person i know who is vegan. one of the aforementioned friends tried it for awhile, but went back to lacto-ovo... and i have since learned that one of my long-distance friends is "mostly" vegan... but really i'm the only one i know. it has been a little strange to take what feels like one step further away from my husband (in eating habits), but at the same time, i'm not going to divorce him over it. having a pre-existing relationship changes the game a little bit, i think.

at the same time i do wonder: if i were single, would i date an omni? i'm not sure. maybe so. but the more i have researched veg*nism, the more it becomes cemented as a core belief/attitude/value, and that is something that wasn't as firmly in place (or maybe as well-articulated) over 8 years ago when i started dating my husband.

i do, however, like the argument that if compassion is our driving force, then dating an omni just proves how awesome we are. :silly:

[Emiloid]

Shameless plug for a website I am not connected to financially or artistically: Veggiedate! (http://www.veggiedate.com/) There are some cool veg people on there. Heck, I'm one of them! ;)

eta: Nice comments, bluedawg (and just about everyone, actually). What grades do you teach?

[trichaos]

I emailed a cutie on there but alas, my inbox is silent.

After 2 months of being vegan now, has my meat scent worn off??

[bluedawg]

eta: Nice comments, bluedawg (and just about everyone, actually). What grades do you teach?
thanks!

the class i was referring to is college juniors/seniors. i typically teach upper-division undergrads, or grad students.

once i get tenure (IF i get tenure!) i may switch gears a bit and take over the intro to interpersonal comm class, and get a big pile of freshmen and sophomores. :)

[FalafelsRule]

Shameless plug for a website I am not connected to financially or artistically: Veggiedate! (http://www.veggiedate.com/) There are some cool veg people on there. Heck, I'm one of them! ;)

eta: Nice comments, bluedawg (and just about everyone, actually). What grades do you teach?

Ahh, VeggieDate. There aren't many Indianapolis gals on there, though. VegWeb seems to have a ton of veggie singles (again, hardly any in Indy).

[FalafelsRule]

Wow, I see not only you, Em, but Walrus, too. Chico has it going on.

[grog]

Wow, I see not only you, Em, but Walrus, too. Chico has it going on.

Coulda fooled me :blank:

[walrus]

Wow, I see not only you, Em, but Walrus, too. Chico has it going on.
awww. i forgot about my profile there.

[Artichoke47]

I emailed a cutie on there but alas, my inbox is silent.

After 2 months of being vegan now, has my meat scent worn off??

Be patient! :)

[trichaos]

Be patient! :)
I'm usually the very model of patience. But lately I've been having a rash of romantic and erotic dreams. They mostly involve strangers, but some co-workers as well. It's very entertaining yet disturbing. :confused:

[dropscone]

I'm usually the very model of patience. But lately I've been having a rash of romantic and erotic dreams. They mostly involve strangers, but some co-workers as well. It's very entertaining yet disturbing. :confused:

Heee! :D tell me about it!

I dreamt the surly guy from the postroom was my boyfriend. Now every time he smiles at me
(fortunately not very often) I feel peculiar.

Just as well I leave next week :laugh:

[trichaos]

The past 2 nights, it involved the same girl from work (who I get along with in real life, but she's married and I don't think of her THAT way). Last night, I dreamt she was out shopping, and stopped by my place. We didn't do anything, but we fell asleep.. her on the couch, me on the floor. I woke up (in the dream) at 3 a.m., thinking "oh sh*t, she's gonna be in trouble!" then her husband called her cell phone. Instead of getting mad at where she was, he was mad because he had just checked their credit card statement online and saw all the stuff she bought on her shopping trip. She got off the phone, climbed on me and said "I want you so bad". Then my alarm went off, ending this one.

The night before last was a far more erotic dream. I won't touch on details, but I was in a mall somewhere, in a store that had a shower in the back. I was in the shower with a stranger hottie, and the girl from work. There were more girls lined up outside the shower waiting their turn. I leaned forward to give the stranger a kiss, and didn't notice at the same time my co-worker was going to give her a kiss at the same time, then all 3 of our mouths met.

My dream life is way better than the waking world. :D

[FalafelsRule]

Damn, Tri, if I had dreams like that, I probably would not need a girlfriend. :silly:

[JasperKat]

it has been a little strange to take what feels like one step further away from my husband (in eating habits), but at the same time, i'm not going to divorce him over it. having a pre-existing relationship changes the game a little bit, i think.

It does feel like a step away doesn't it? I was an omni when I started dating my guy, and although he is a vegetarian now, I still feel somewhat removed from him in this area. I feel a mild tinge of betrayal when he buys Doritos or orders an omlette at breakfast. It's silly, and not something I would ever jump on him about, but it's there.

at the same time i do wonder: if i were single, would i date an omni? i'm not sure. maybe so. but the more i have researched veg*nism, the more it becomes cemented as a core belief/attitude/value, and that is something that wasn't as firmly in place (or maybe as well-articulated) over 8 years ago when i started dating my husband.


If I were single and looking, I imagine that I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't at least vegetarian. Then again, it's so hard to say unless you're in that postion.

-JK

[trichaos]

Damn, Tri, if I had dreams like that, I probably would not need a girlfriend. :silly:
True, until you actually wake up and find yourself all charged up with the other side of the bed cold. :bomb:

[Stitches]

True, until you actually wake up and find yourself all charged up with the other side of the bed cold. :bomb:

Boy, do *I* know what that's like... :(

[LazyGirl]

I would jump for joy if I could find a vegetarian to date in this hot wing lovin', ham-in-all-the-vegetables, barbeque fest havin' town! I don't think I would know how to act if I met an eligible vegan. I've toyed with the idea of putting a profile on veggiedate, but the last time I did a search, I got a grand total of 2 folks from my area, so I figured - what's the point?

I wish that I were bold enough to pass out the "Want Some?" cards. I've fantasized about strutting around town in a black tank top with "vegan" spelled out in rhinestone letters across the front, but alas, I don't have the chutzpah to do it. :) Sahar (my dance persona) likes attention; LazyGirl does not.

[trichaos]

I would jump for joy if I could find a vegetarian to date in this hot wing lovin', ham-in-all-the-vegetables, barbeque fest havin' town! I don't think I would know how to act if I met an eligible vegan. I've toyed with the idea of putting a profile on veggiedate, but the last time I did a search, I got a grand total of 2 folks from my area, so I figured - what's the point?

I wish that I were bold enough to pass out the "Want Some?" cards. I've fantasized about strutting around town in a black tank top with "vegan" spelled out in rhinestone letters across the front, but alas, I don't have the chutzpah to do it. :) Sahar (my dance persona) likes attention; LazyGirl does not.
bellydancers are hot. just my 2 cents. :D

[Chijou_no_seiza]

Actually the other day my older sister was the one that said "your next boyfriend has to be vegan". Even though she is not remotely close to being vegan. (She does buy only cage free eggs etc.) But she said it wouldn't be fair for both of us (if he wasn't), and so I said well you can't control who you are attracted too!... but hey it's a requirement now so I quess I'll have to stick with it when the time comes :)

[LazyGirl]

bellydancers are hot. just my 2 cents. :D

:D

[Emiloid]

II've toyed with the idea of putting a profile on veggiedate, but the last time I did a search, I got a grand total of 2 folks from my area, so I figured - what's the point?

You might be surprised. For some reason I get contacted by people from really far away. (Personally I always limit my searches to California!) I think a lot of veg*ns are slightly desperate/anxious to be in touch with fellow veggies, so if you're into having pen-pals or one person relocating, it's still a decent option.

I'm single again, BTW. Any takers? :D (JK!!)

[FalafelsRule]

For some reason I get contacted by people from really far away.

If I was using Veggiedate, I would've been one of those people. :silly:

[Velvet Lamb]

My partner is vegan. If I were single, I would only want to have a relationship with another vegan.
.

ditto!

[SquareEyes]

My young man's an omni-work-in-progress: his eating habits have evolved almost beyond recognition since we hooked up. When we met [2002? it seems like decades...] he was a deathburger-muncher who thought he couldn't get through the day without consuming some meat product or other. He was a sucka for Chinese food - ribs and sweet-and-sour chicken balls - or 'mighty meaty' pizza *shudder*. He knew and respected my principles and food choices, but at that very early stage was finding it difficult to break the meat habit. :umm:

Luckily, we quickly worked it out [partly thanks to some of the fantastic 'fake meat' products out there, and partly through the medium of the fabulous meals I cook with such love :D] He's currently 'mostly veg*n' - eats vegan food at home and loves it, but still uses cow's milk [bleurgh]. He buys himself vegetarian stuff from time to time [e.g. non-vegan veggie burgers] if he fancies something a bit different. And he's even been having some adventures in vegan cookery of his own - it was he who sussed out the 'secret ingredient' that perfected our vegan Yorkshire pudding recipe!

So he's changed his thinking, and it continues to evolve. He still occasionally, but very, very rarely, eats dead things. These days, if he does, it's pretty much always when he's on his own, and I always know when he's done it. How? Because as soon as he sees me afterwards, he blushes furiously, glares at his feet in shame, then rushes off to, as he puts it, 'scour out [his] face'. I don't have to guilt trip him, he's doing that all by himself. It's just a matter of time before he submits to the Power of Veganic Truth, dudes. :laugh:

I'd like to think it's all about compromise, but.. We're now at the stage of talking about wedding plans. So I'm priming my powers of pursuasion again - I want a vegan reception. His family will 'need' some meat, apparently. Bllx to that. I will win :D

PS I used to be much, much more mellow and tolerant of other people's food choices, but we're currently living in a mixed, shared house [I'm the only dyed-in-the-hemp Veggie] and it's turning me hardcore vegan. So a] my young man gets far more non-vegan temptation than is good for either of us, and b] much as I'd love to have a vegan kitchen, it can't happen right now. But I'm planning my future vegan kitchen in my head - no wafts of putrid "sizzling chicken curry" every night when I get home from work, or Sunday Morning Fry-Up Of Death waking me up with a wave of nausea... :mad:

[Chijou_no_seiza]

Because as soon as he sees me afterwards, he blushes furiously, glares at his feet in shame, then rushes off to, as he puts it, 'scour out [his] face'. I don't have to guilt trip him, he's doing that all by himself. It's just a matter of time before he submits to the Power of Veganic Truth, dudes. :laugh:


:D That is very cute :)

[SquareEyes]

Heh heh... yeah... :D

Can I just take this opportunity to apologise for the rambling, 'where's the point?' nature of my post above? It was the first time I'd posted anywhere for ages, and I'd kind of misplaced my self-editing setting ;)

My point - and I did have one - is that I would never have imagined that I'd end up with a non-veggie, but it happened. [Come to that, I was quite surprised to end up with a bloke, but that's another story entirely :rolleyes:]

Simply put, while it would have been great to get together with a committed veg*n and not have that steep learning curve, I'm glad I didn't put too many restrictions on my friendships [and it was a friendship that developed into a relationship], otherwise I'd have missed out in a big way. And, I like to think, so would he. :laugh:

[feenix101]

I am currently dating an omni, who is wonderful in many many ways,
HOWEVER, he has some serious issues with my veg*n lifestyle (and I use the star because while I consider myself vegan he's had the same issues since I was veggie). To the extent that he feels constantly attacked when he is around vegetarians and that they all hate him (I have never witnessed anyone but him even bring up the topic, and even then most people just don't touch it). Thus, he approaches my friends (who are predominantly vegan) ready to defend himself and makes it very uncomfortable and he comes across as pretty much a total ass. Needless to say this is not a fun situation for anyone.

We have talked A LOT about how this is a huge problem for me, not because he's omni, but because this type of reaction makes me feel constantly under attack and generally like he doesn't respect my dietary choices. Not to mention the fact that he often outright refuses to be around my friends because they're veg, eventhough he's never met most of them. But even through our talking he still seems to be missing the point and thinks that the only way I'll ever be happy is if he's vegetarian. I've never asked him to change nor would I want him to unless he wanted to.

To his credit he has been trying very hard to overcome these issues in the last few weeks. He even came to see Peaceable Kingdom with me yesterday. However, its at the point where I'm still so angry about everything that has happened in the past that I am finding it nearly impossible to be compassionate and patient with him now that he is truly trying to make things better.

And now I can't figure out what to do. Thoughts/suggestions?

Sorry this was so long.

[ott]

... I am finding it nearly impossible to be compassionate and patient with him now that he is truly trying to make things better.

Are you sure that's not the reason? Are you sure you're not perceiving it as weakness that he's dropping his guard and starting to compromise? Are you reflexively shedding compassion and patience to go in for the kill? Are you using his past indiscretions as justification? Did you respect him more when he played the part of the 'hostile ass'? If he adopts a veg*an lifestyle would that make him even more unfit because he 'conceded'?

[Emiloid]

Yikes, feenix101... sounds like your friend probably has "issues" in general, not just with veganism. I don't mean to sound harsh. It sounds like he's overly threatened by your friends and your choice to be veg... and I suspect it comes from being generally insecure in himself and his place in your life rather than from simply being uncomfortable with the issue of veg*nism.

Good luck!

[spasticastic]

Ooh, this is fun! We need to read between the lines...

So he's been antagonistic and defensive in the PAST. But for a week or two he's been trying to be better? And yet you post this AFTER he's been doing better because it's almost like he can't undo the past. I don't know anything about relationships, but my guess is that you're doubting that you want to stick with him, and this post is part of the doubting process. There's nowhere near enough clues for us to decide that for you, and you wouldn't want someone else deciding anyway. It's your relationship to make or break. Let me ask a different but related question: Do you meet a lot of cute veg boys in Chicago these days? :D

[schmeel]

Isn't "cute veg boy in Chicago" a little redundant?

Thus, he approaches my friends (who are predominantly vegan) ready to defend himself

...

We have talked A LOT about how this is a huge problem for me, not because he's omni, but because this type of reaction makes me feel constantly under attack and generally like he doesn't respect my dietary choices.


It kind of sounds like you two might not be communicating too well. Either you two might not be expressing yourselves correctly, or the other isn't listening correctly...or both, because it sounds like neither of you are intentionally attacking the other, yet the other feels that way. (Omni friends often are worried I'm judging them for not being veggie-people). This might be a key to the solution to your problem, or it might be a larger, more destructive problem in your relationship.

Though I don't really feel like I know a whole lot about your relationship I'm sure I'll be informed at a later date that I'm completely wrong.

:p

Good luck with whatever decisions you make, just be sure they're right in your heart, that always seems to work for me. Also that your friends will be there to support whatever decisions you do make...unless he ends up in pieces in your freezer...that I can not condone.

[feenix101]

Thanks for the input everyone. I think its mostly that I'm frustrated right now and trying to figure out if I'm going to be able to get over that frustration in a somewhat positive manner.


Let me ask a different but related question: Do you meet a lot of cute veg boys in Chicago these days? :D
maybe not lots, but certainly enough ;)

[San]

I have changed my position on this somewhat. I'd date a nonvegan because I don't want to limit my options so much. Plus, the only vegan friends I had recently royally screwed me over, so I'm realizing that being vegan doesn't mean you are a decent person.

I haven't met any vegans or vegetarians since I moved to Florida, but people are actually less defensive here than they were back at my college. The guys I've met are just like, "Oh that's cool" when I tell them I'm vegan, where back home often me telling them I'm vegan was a followed by some five minute rant about why they weren't.

[jenzie]

I have changed my position on this somewhat. I'd date a nonvegan because I don't want to limit my options so much. Plus, the only vegan friends I had recently royally screwed me over, so I'm realizing that being vegan doesn't mean you are a decent person.

I haven't met any vegans or vegetarians since I moved to Florida, but people are actually less defensive here than they were back at my college. The guys I've met are just like, "Oh that's cool" when I tell them I'm vegan, where back home often me telling them I'm vegan was a followed by some five minute rant about why they weren't.

Whoa, defensiveness in Bellingham? Damn, that's news to me. Only folks I've ever met from up there are super mellow hippie stoners. :p Sorry you had to experience that San! :umm: What brought you out to FL??

And uh, back on topic... you're dead on about the fact that being vegan doesn't make someone a decent person. I think I mentioned something about dating vegan guys who were less than stellar earlier in this thread, but yeah... best wishes to you in FL... in general, and for finding some cool, fun guys to hang out with! :D

[HeddyMarie]

My boyfriend and I started dating 4years ago. I did not become vegetarian until we moved to Seattle from Alaska about 3 years ago. At first it was suttle, being turned off from red meat, then all meat. I started reading a lot of books and the environmental impact the industry created. I joined PETA and finalized my decision the first time I watched their video. I cried looking at what humans do to helpless animals every day simply for the consumption of a good mcdonalds burger or a huge steak. My boyfriend loves eating whatever vegan meals I may cook yet he also craves meat and unfortunatley, fastfood. It hurts me to know he could eat better. I pressured him a lot when I first went vegan, preaching about his health and the animals. we got into a lot of fights because of this so I backed off. I have a deep respect for the right to choose. I am not against people who eat meat as this is their life and I am noone to judge. So ideally I would love if he were atleast a vegetarian. He remains open and tells me hed like to try being a strict veggie for a month...he knows the health benefits and the good energy he would generate by being kind to animals and the earth...but he is stubborn. I try to remain open... We try very hard to communicate and to respect eachothers wishes.

[oldradical]

Heddymarie...I think he is very lucky to have your affections, as you are obviously a tender and generous spirit. Good fortune to both of you.

[FarmerStephen]

Oh how I curse these non-vegans taking away all the vegan hotties.
:furious:
'Stay away from her/him', I want to scream,
'ca'nt you see your poop is to smelly, your fluids would foul their otherwise clean bodies'
'Have you no respect for their lifestyle?'
'and worse, what happens to a clean-pure-caring Vegan Lad like myself?'
'Am I to walk lonely through this sordid life'
'to wax poetically and lovingly to only mine ownself?'
'Who will share with me the joy of the sparrows call, the croak of the bullfrog, the bray of the cattle in the forest'
'once you, have corrupted the bodies'
'of all the beautiful people, and thus their minds, and alas......their souls'.

[Artichoke47]

Oh, come on. That's like saying interracial dating is wrong. These vegan ladies CHOOSE to date the guys whom they date. Don't sit there and act like somebody is taking something away from you - you never had it in the first place.

[grog]

Oh, come on. That's like saying interracial dating is wrong. These vegan ladies CHOOSE to date the guys whom they date. Don't sit there and act like somebody is taking something away from you - you never had it in the first place.

I'm fairly certain he was joking, but yours is a good response. I think I appreciate both sentiments :confused:

[Artichoke47]

I realize he was joking, but some vegan men really do think that vegan women belong with vegan men, and vice versa, as if they are against inter-lifestyle dating or something, and also as if they have a say in what men these vegan women date or how they choose their partner. It's ridiculous.

[FarmerStephen]

Oh, come on. That's like saying interracial dating is wrong. These vegan ladies CHOOSE to date the guys whom they date. Don't sit there and act like somebody is taking something away from you - you never had it in the first place.

.....Whoooaaaa, looks like I hit a nerve...

First, I am not kidding (well maybe about the screaming part) (and the cows braying in the forest, but that is more wishful thinking than kidding).

...But Artichoke47, your response would lead me to believe that you either;
a.) are'nt Vegan but are involved with one
b.) are Vegan but are involved with a non
c.) have gotten sh*te from folks about either a) or b)
d.) a combination of the above three
In any case, relax, it's just an opinion. Also I would like to point out, I said her/him, at no point was my statement meant in a gender specific fashion..... And as far as being the same as objecting to inter-racial dating, um.... erh a yeah, you're playing left field at the next softball game, but it was a good attempt at righteousness. And finally, it has been my experience that;
a.) Non - Vegans have stinkier poo
b.) Non - Vegans bodily fluids are less pure (in a strictly vegan sense that is, i.e. - devoid of animal products)
c.) Often Vegans lament their wish for a Vegan partner, & I support them in this

...Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have some Vegan Sushi and Vegan popcorn at a movie (HitchHikers Guide), with my Vegan date; the only kind I'll ever have *yum, pure fluids* ;)

[jenzie]

Who's playing softball? How come I wasn't invited??

Wait... is the ball leather?! :p

Um, yeah.

I totally see where FarmerStephen is coming from. (Have a blast on your date by the way! :D) I don't agree with him 100% however (especially about the poo! vegan poo can be mighty stinky! :p ), and I date non-vegan guys. Lots 'o them, even! Hehee. Not exclusivly or anything, that just seems to be the way it works out. I guess that means I'm "tainted." :o ;) Heeeey... is that why I wasn't asked to play ball?

:laugh:

[Artichoke47]

:silly: Whoa! Looks like *I* hit a nerve.

I'm very happy in my current relationship, thankyouverymuch! :D

[FarmerStephen]

:silly: Whoa! Looks like *I* hit a nerve. :D
You did, but it was just my 'happy for dialogue' nerve.....

:silly:I'm very happy in my current relationship, thankyouverymuch! :D And I am so happy for you, I would never really pass judgement on anothers choices, whatever they are, and whatever issue they are on. To your relationship, I wish long life, happiness and prosperity, whatever the dynamics of its makeup are. And that is absolutely not a joke. Any opinion expressed by this lad, applies strictly to his own life. Tonight, my homebrew toast is to diversity of choice, and the right and pleasure to have it. And I raise my glass to you Artichoke47, and your partner!!!!! :)

[Artichoke47]

Thank you for that, Stephen. I wish you happiness, too. :)

I just noted that you commented on another's choices in your post, in a way, as you stated, "Oh how I curse these non-vegans taking away all the vegan hotties." The issues were 1) "taking away," as it's nothing you ever had; the vegan wanted to be with the non-vegan 2) it's commenting upon the non-vegan's choice of who to date and also disempowering the vegan, as if they had no choice in the matter, someone just "took them away" and they were powerless to stop.

As a vegan woman, trust me, I will never be "taken away" by anybody. :D

[FarmerStephen]

As a vegan woman, trust me, I will never be "taken away" by anybody. :D

Well then it seems to me that you are one of the exceptions, according to this thread. As I re-read thru the thread, & what led me to comment in the first place, was the number of responses expressing the 'You ca'nt help who you fall in love with' vein. It seems, according to your post, this is not the case with you, and any choice you make to be with an omni/carni/cannibal/whatever, is purely that - choice. More power to you in your choices, we all deserve that right. My original post was meant more as a sign of sympathetic frustration for those who seem to be struggling with the 'I ca'nt help who I love' ideas. I am not saying you are wrong, they are wrong, or I am right. The facts for me are, we are all right in our own choices. As for my personal choices, I have been very attracted to non-vegans, often, I meen, I am a healthy young fella. I would never pursue my attractions though, for the same reasons I would'nt pursue a child pronographer, a racist, a sexist, or an abuser. These things, like meat eating (& animal products in general), I find to be morally abhorent - thus, I would'nt, could'nt support it. But hey, to each there own, we are all free to support whatever system we want.

[Artichoke47]

Well, I make the choice (and have control over my relationships/dates) in that I won't date a meat-eater, just as you, but I wouldn't limit my dates to just vegans. As has been said before, just because someone is a vegan doesn't make them a great catch!

[FarmerStephen]

.....As has been said before, just because someone is a vegan doesn't make them a great catch!

I knew we would eventually see eye to eye on something ;) !!!!

[feenix101]

Is it possible to change my vote?

I would like to change my vote from "no" to "[Happily] free and single at the moment but they would have to be vegan"

[FarmerStephen]

I'm sorry, but you can only change your vote if you are a white male in Florida. You may however change someone else's vote if you are on the payroll of a white male in Florida.

[mamaquilla]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[feenix101]

I'm sorry, but you can only change your vote if you are a white male in Florida. You may however change someone else's vote if you are on the payroll of a white male in Florida.


:D :D :D

Thank you for brightening up my morning.

[Lacykitten]

I wanted to change my vote cos I'm now single. But I still wouldn't only date a veg*an.

My (now ex) went vegetarian I think 2-3 months ago. we woulda been together 2 years in June.. so quite a while. But I was slowly getting him to look at more and more things, and think about them, so he finally made the change.

Then again, I thought he would, being an animal lover and someone I talked to about veg stuff before we dated.


I'd love to date a vegan, or at least vegetarian, and skip at least part of the epxlaining why I don't eat or use this or that. I'd like to skip having to teach someone how to read labels for all the things I avoid. I'd like to skip the akward "This is my girlfriend.. she's *vegan*..." when being introduced to friends and family.

But I'm going to date whoever I end up feeling interested in. I'm not going to pass up the chance at a future veg just because they aren't veg now... but I'm also not going to build a life with someone who will never go veg (though I refuse to believe someone if they claim that they will never go veg).. If time shows that we wouldn't have a vegan wedding, and a vegan household, and raise any kidlets vegan.. I'll go looking again. At the point of family it's about more than just the animals. I don't give a hoot about how it affects my own health, but my future maybe kids' health - they aren't going to be eating that crap! And if the person I'm with doesn't agree... I can't have kids with them.

But then again I'm also sorta opening my scouting view to include females as well as males.. so I guess I'm pretty open about things... lol...

[spasticastic]

Is it possible to change my vote?

I would like to change my vote from "no" to "[Happily] free and single at the moment but they would have to be vegan"
Hooray for you girl!

I mean, not hooray that you and the old guy are split, but hooray that you're starting a brand new page! :banana:

[feenix101]

Hooray for you girl!

I mean, not hooray that you and the old guy are split, but hooray that you're starting a brand new page! :banana:


I don't know, Matriarco has looked a lot like that dancing banana since the split ;)

[matriarco]

I don't know, Matriarco has looked a lot like that dancing banana since the split ;)

It's true, and I'm not sure if that warrants a :) or a :embarr:. Feenix is awesome and she deserves someone more understanding and generally cooler (cue FalafelsRule to offer his services :) ) when she feels like dating again.

I'll have you all know I waited at least 3 days before turning into a dancing banana.

[FalafelsRule]

(cue FalafelsRule to offer his services :) )

*crosses fingers* :silly:

[feenix101]

Feenix is awesome and she deserves someone more understanding and generally cooler


Aww, thanks.

[schmeel]

Feenix is awesome and she deserves someone more understanding and generally cooler

So true.

I'll have you all know I waited at least 3 days before turning into a dancing banana.

So not true.

[matriarco]

So not true.

Well, in front of feenix, anyway. Ok, maybe it was 2 days. I could have thrown a party and I didn't. I didn't even buy her cake, but I could now if she wants it. ;)

[Emiloid]

I don't know, Matriarco has looked a lot like that dancing banana since the split ;)Hmmm.. a dancing banana split? Sounds good to me.

[GIltine]

I wasn't vegan when we started dating two and a half years ago, but I changed and I am now. He's still omni and I love him to death even because of this, and I even cook his meals for him.

I know relationships are about compromise, but if I said that to him he'd say "you could always come back to meat." He certainly respects my decision and doesn't force me to eat anything that I'm not comfortable with, this is why I won't force him to be vegan. I cook vegan meals, he'll eat them, but if I take meat away from him we bicker and argue. Food is basically the only thing we argue about.

He's a kind, caring, loving man, and he's sat down and watched the farm factory industry films with me and he agree's that it shouldn't be happening, but he's content with how things are, whereas I'm not.

I don't see the point in basing a relationship of wether your partner is vegan or not. In a perfet world where everyone was vegan it'd be great to have a vegan parter. But I love my partner and won't leave just because he chooses to be unhealthy and eat meat. I don't believe in chaning someone for personal reasons, even if there is a great good involved.

[Artichoke47]

I will modify my previous responses to indicate that I will never, ever date a lacto-ovo vegetarian again. I don't care how many times they tell me they are against animal exploitation and cutting back on animal products. Cutting back on animal products = eating a twinkie, not eating cow-milk cheese at a restaurant.

That said, I hope I don't have to think about choice of partner for a long while. :smitten:

[FalafelsRule]

I don't see the point in basing a relationship of wether your partner is vegan or not.

The point is... it is just a bizzillion times better to be with someone who eats the same way as I do. I'd never allow animal meat in my household, or cruel products. I'd never want the money I contribute to the household to be spent in that way. I could simply not fall in love with someone who lives that type of lifestyle. I guess I could say the complete opposite of what you have said; I do not see the point of a vegan having an commited realtionship with a non-vegan. I hear the stories from some, the usual: "All the vegan guys I met were jerks". They just haven't met the right vegan. I am far from a jerk, yet I am still single. All I am hoping for is a vegan gal, who is not all wound up over looks, to just give me a chance.

[FalafelsRule]

I will modify my previous responses to indicate that I will never, ever date a lacto-ovo vegetarian again. I don't care how many times they tell me they are against animal exploitation and cutting back on animal products. Cutting back on animal products = eating a twinkie, not eating cow-milk cheese at a restaurant.

That said, I hope I don't have to think about choice of partner for a long while. :smitten:

Good to see you saw "the light". ;)

[Mason]

The point is... it is just a bizzillion times better to be with someone who eats the same way as I do. I'd never allow animal meat in my household, or cruel products. I'd never want the money I contribute to the household to be spent in that way. I could simply not fall in love with someone who lives that type of lifestyle. I guess I could say the complete opposite of what you have said; I do not see the point of a vegan having an commited realtionship with a non-vegan. I hear the stories from some, the usual: "All the vegan guys I met were jerks". They just haven't met the right vegan. I am far from a jerk, yet I am still single. All I am hoping for is a vegan gal, who is not all wound up over looks, to just give me a chance.Yeah - what FR said. Thanks for all the competition, by the way. (I'm starting to feel like there are only about three single vegan women on the planet.)

Avoiding animal products in my home is a part of it. Although, I suppose you could have a vegan household and not a vegan partner. But mostly it's just such a core belief system that I'm not sure it would be possible for me to have a deep relationship without that being a part of it. To me vegetarianism is obvious. I can't imagine forming an intimate relationship with someone who through her daily actions demonstrates that she disagrees.

[FalafelsRule]

Thanks for all the competition, by the way.


Don't worry, based on my fortune/luck, I am not much competiton. :laugh: ... I mean ---> :cry:

[Artichoke47]

Part of being vegan is enjoying good food, and I'm sorry, but some of the omnivores and lacto-ovos I know just don't have the proper taste bud-dar to figure out what's good and what's not, and they don't get excited over food like I do. :confused:

[trichaos]

That said, I hope I don't have to think about choice of partner for a long while. :smitten:
What she said. :heart:

I know that being vegan/not vegan isn't the only factor in compatability, but when you find someone that's amazing in so many other ways, being vegan makes it 10,000 times better. :)

[misanthropy]

I don't see the point in basing a relationship of wether your partner is vegan or not.It's not basing the entire relationship on being vegan but it certainly is a starting point. For those of us that choose to only date vegans, it's about wanting to be with someone who shares our ethical concerns and views about animals 100%.

[misanthropy]

But mostly it's just such a core belief system that I'm not sure it would be possible for me to have a deep relationship without that being a part of it.Ditto. I don't believe animals are here for us to use, so why would I want to be with someone who thought it was okay?

[Artichoke47]

Cutting back on animal products = eating a twinkie, not eating cow-milk cheese at a restaurant.

And I should clarify that I mean eating a twinkie, out of desparation, because the non-vegan thinks it's the only thing available and didn't bring their own food, like maybe once every three months. THAT'S cutting back on animal products. Or eating a granola bar with honey once a week. I think you guys get what I mean. I don't mean eating a twink every day. :)

[Tofuy]

All I am hoping for is a vegan gal, who is not all wound up over looks, to just give me a chance.
something strange i've learned, and maybe it only works 'cause i'm young, is that when i stop caring about how i look, girls start digging how i look. can't people be wound up over looks and still be happy? smells are usually where girls draw the line. and that's just me thinking out loud...

the best way to meet most, if not all, of the veg*n girls in a town or city not on the coasts(or chicago) is to work at the place where they all go to buy food. if you can't get a job there, volunteer. i've worked at my local co-op for almost 2 years and i've met just about all of the permanent(read "not school seasonal") veg*n girls that live here. this is really the way to do it and if i could pull a tyler durden on you i would. that whole "if you're not on your way to becoming a veternarian in 6 weeks..." bit. really. this is the way to do it and, if it's what you really want, then go do it. get a job that leaves you working on the floor, like stocking the shelfs or cashiering instead of being stuck in the back depths of the warehouse.

none of them interest me the way the girl i'm dating right now does(she rocks my world and i can't wait for her to move here). you'll find something cool like that falafel, you will. :) it kind of reminds of that age old stigma about dating: the only time girls want to date guys is when they're already involved. not true, but it sure feels like that sometimes.

[FalafelsRule]

the best way to meet most, if not all, of the veg*n girls in a town or city not on the coasts(or chicago) is to work at the place where they all go to buy food. if you can't get a job there, volunteer. i've worked at my local co-op for almost 2 years and i've met just about all of the permanent(read "not school seasonal") veg*n girls that live here. this is really the way to do it and if i could pull a tyler durden on you i would. that whole "if you're not on your way to becoming a veternarian in 6 weeks..." bit. really. this is the way to do it and, if it's what you really want, then go do it. get a job that leaves you working on the floor, like stocking the shelfs or cashiering instead of being stuck in the back depths of the warehouse.



I did work at Wild Oats for a few months and met quite a few that worked there. Half of them were single. They chose to hang all over the tall, skinny, omni guys that used to tease them a lot as opposed to like me, a not so tall, vegan guy who was always nice, and polite to them. The ones that had partners already, their partners were not vegan. I think women just like the typical, omni guy types who happen to be tall and skinny. The beer drinking, bar going, excessive meat eating, teasing, watch sports all day, tough acting, cocky men. Strange, but hey, what ever floats their boat, I suppose.

[Emiloid]

I am far from a jerk, yet I am still single. All I am hoping for is a vegan gal, who is not all wound up over looks, to just give me a chance.Aw, FR! I've seen your picture and I think you're really cute. Of course, finding someone who looks beyond appearances is always a plus... I'm just saying, IMO you don't need to worry about your looks.

[Sammie]

Aw, FR! I've seen your picture and I think you're really cute. Of course, finding someone who looks beyond appearances is always a plus... I'm just saying, IMO you don't need to worry about your looks.

I toatlly agree with Emiloid................But since I've already said this before.....I don't want to sound like a broken record,; or have anyone think that I'm stocking you or cause another Tri & Artichoke situtaion...... :laugh:

[Artichoke47]

You know what might be fun? If I go around this board and complain about certain members and something I don't like about them in random posts. Yes, I will turn five-years-old tomorrow, and I think it's completely appropriate and polite. :yes:

[Sammie]

You know what might be fun? If I go around this board and complain about certain members and something I don't like about them in random posts. Yes, I will turn five-years-old tomorrow, and I think it's completely appropriate and polite. :yes:

If this was dircted at me......................I meant my commnet in a nice way. I guess my sense of humor was lost somewhere in the translation. If I upspet you, I'm sorry. That wasn't my intent. I thought everyone was having fun with you and Tri.

[Sammie]

If this was dircted at me......................I meant my commnet in a nice way. I guess my sense of humor was lost somewhere in the translation. If I upspet you, I'm sorry. That wasn't my intent. I thought everyone was having fun with you and Tri.

Sorry for all the TYPOS!!! I typo so fast sometimes......I don't catch them.

[Artichoke47]

:silly: Thanks, Sammie.

[jenzie]

Sooooooo.... what if you fall in love with a vegan.... and then.... they stop being vegan? Does the love just go away? Does it make a difference if they stop being vegan and revert to lacto-ovo, or omni?

Just wondering.

I'm guessing I'll get a lot of, "if they change that much, then they're not the person I fell in love with anyway" type of responses, and that's cool. I'm just curious.

[Artichoke47]

Sooooooo.... what if you fall in love with a vegan.... and then.... they stop being vegan? Does the love just go away? Does it make a difference if they stop being vegan and revert to lacto-ovo, or omni?

Just wondering.

I'm guessing I'll get a lot of, "if they change that much, then they're not the person I fell in love with anyway" type of responses, and that's cool. I'm just curious.

Yeah, I think the love would fade. It's comparable to them cheating on you, or maybe worse, more like cheating on every single brother and sister you have, betraying them and killing them, one by one with a fork.

[Stitches]

I think women just like the typical, omni guy types who happen to be tall and skinny. The beer drinking, bar going, excessive meat eating, teasing, watch sports all day, tough acting, cocky men. Strange, but hey, what ever floats their boat, I suppose.

That sounds so weird to me. I can't stand guys like that and nothing will persuade me to tolerate cheeseburger breath. I'd rather swallow glass than get involved with a reclining chair that gulps Budweiser, snarfs animals, and burps.

On balance, though, I am a bit of a drinker myself, which probably scares off any stone-cold-sober vegan boys I might happen to meet. :thinking:

[Oatmeal Girl]

I wouldn't date someone who drinks more than a glass of wine socially. I think drinking is lame, personally. I drank way too much in my youth, and then I got over it.

[FalafelsRule]

On balance, though, I am a bit of a drinker myself, which probably scares off any stone-cold-sober vegan boys I might happen to meet. :thinking:

Although I do not drink, I would not be scared of you. Especially since drinking tends to make women frisky. :p

[KKB]

oatmeal girl: ditto, now that i've pretty much stopped drinking all together, one drink wipes me out. and i hate that feeling. drinking=mucho lamo. i'm starting to gather that probably any 'heavy' or regular drinker over age 22-23 has addiction issues. i got it out of my system and like you, i'm over it. it's ick. ;P

[KKB]

It's comparable to them cheating on you, or maybe worse, more like cheating on every single brother and sister you have, betraying them and killing them, one by one with a fork.
umm, I wouldn't go THAT far... but i agree that reverting back to *gulp* an omni diet, would pretty much kill it for me.

[herbi]

Sooooooo.... what if you fall in love with a vegan.... and then.... they stop being vegan? Does the love just go away? Does it make a difference if they stop being vegan and revert to lacto-ovo, or omni?

I think if my boy had a momentary lapse in a time of weakness and depression, like, "I just didn't care about anything anymore and said **** it and ate the pizza" or whatever, I would be concerned and supportive and try to get him back on track, and wouldn't beat him up about the vegan thing at all. If he, in all seriousness, made a conscious decision that he was no longer interested in being vegan and brought home a big ol' block of cheese or something, I would probably freak out a little and no doubt some sort of fight would ensue, very possibly ending up in a breakup if he stuck to his dairy guns. If he brought home MEAT, well, probably another desperate "What's happened to you?!" fight would ensue, followed in VERY short order by me moving out (sobbing my eyes out all the while :bawling: ). Really, though, I can't imagine that ever happening. :) *whew!* Which is exactly why it would be such a deal-breaker; he's been vegan since long before we met, and it's a huge part of his/our life and who he is. If he suddenly turned his back on that, he really would stop being the guy I fell for and thought I knew, and it would call into question all the other stuff I thought I knew about him too-- like, if he can so casually change his mind about something I'd assumed was so important to him, then what's next-- me? :umm: Although this scenario is equally ludicrous and unthinkable (or perhaps even a little moreso, since I do have direct control over my own actions that I don't have over others), I would fully expect to get dumped in return if I ever reverted. It definitely would feel like a betrayal of trust on some level.

I think if your S.O. is already non-vegan from the start, you know where you stand and you either accept that and develop your own coping mechanisms or not. But if you enter into the relationship with the mindset of "here's another vegan..." and they change, that's not as easy to deal with. Going back on commitments is a very big no-no for me, and I guess I see veganism as a commitment. In many ways, I'd much rather a person never make the claim in the first place than make it and break it.

[Stitches]

Although I do not drink, I would not be scared of you. Especially since drinking tends to make women frisky. :p

It doesn't make me frisky - just kinda belligerent. And you would be scared. All guys are scared of a girl with a whip (nonleather of course) in her hands.

[FalafelsRule]

All guys are scared of a girl with a whip (nonleather of course) in her hands.

Hot! :sunny:

[Stitches]

Well, lots of guys say that too...but if I was standing over you in a vinyl catsuit growling at you to lace my boots, you'd freak out. Guys out here are scared of me because I've whipped a few willing individuals at parties.

[jenzie]

Well, lots of guys say that too...but if I was standing over you in a vinyl catsuit growling at you to lace my boots, you'd freak out. Guys out here are scared of me because I've whipped a few willing individuals at parties.

Seems like we have a lot more in common besides reading encyclopedias and dictionaries for fun! ;)

[Tofuy]

I did work at Wild Oats for a few months and met quite a few that worked there. Half of them were single. They chose to hang all over the tall, skinny, omni guys that used to tease them a lot as opposed to like me, a not so tall, vegan guy who was always nice, and polite to them. The ones that had partners already, their partners were not vegan. I think women just like the typical, omni guy types who happen to be tall and skinny. The beer drinking, bar going, excessive meat eating, teasing, watch sports all day, tough acting, cocky men. Strange, but hey, what ever floats their boat, I suppose.

remember that scene in The Recruit with al pucino and collin farrell? the one where collin farrell says something like "your wants are of no concern to me", that's the scene that captured the american uninvolved male/female relationship of the new millenium. FACT: girls want guys that don't care about them when they don't want to care about the guy. FACT: guys who present themselves as nonthreatening semi-badguy types with a james-dean-meets-narrow-unthreatening-homogenized-racial-majority combination are the sexiest market of male flesh, especially when we don't shave most mornings. FACT: if you want to get laid, get a girlfriend, get a reputation, etc, all you have to do is losely conform to this stereotype and the social horror that is american culture will take care of the rest. you will find yourself snared in the bed of a vixen in no time.

relationships, however, are a poop. remember to bring toilet paper to clean up after all the mess. it can be fun before while squeezing, it can be fun during while grunting, but i promise you it's gonna end up requiring a toilet(even if it's just for the tequilla).

[FalafelsRule]

Well, lots of guys say that too...but if I was standing over you in a vinyl catsuit growling at you to lace my boots, you'd freak out. Guys out here are scared of me because I've whipped a few willing individuals at parties.

I don't want ot be whipped (with a whip). However, The rolepaly scenerio would be fun.

[Tofuy]

riding crops feel better. they work better in enclosed spaces too and don't leave itchy welts.

[jenzie]

riding crops feel better. they work better in enclosed spaces too and don't leave itchy welts.

Agreed. ;)

[Artichoke47]

Especially since drinking tends to make women frisky. :p

Link/proof, please, FR?!

Never heard that one before. :confused:

[jenzie]

Link/proof, please, FR?!

Never heard that one before. :confused:

Wait.... before I respond with anything else.... is that meant to be another joke? Just want to make sure. :)

[FalafelsRule]

Link/proof, please, FR?!

Never heard that one before. :confused:

Personal experience and observations.

Here is something I found in relation:

Alcohol decreases your inhibitions, which factor into an increased sexual drive. However, alcohol decreases sexual functioning and is linked to the reduction of the male hormone testosterone.

Source: http://www.radford.edu/~kcastleb/text.html

The sources of their studies are listed at the bottom of the page.

[Artichoke47]

Wait.... before I respond with anything else.... is that meant to be another joke? Just want to make sure. :)

Huh? It's serious. Scouts (vegan/harmless) honor.

Thanks, FR.

[jenzie]

Okay, well I was just basically going to say what FR did. :)

[Stitches]

Seems like we have a lot more in common besides reading encyclopedias and dictionaries for fun! ;)

Well, what do you know about that! :D Awesome.

Incidentally, I prefer using my studded belt over whips or riding crops - it's more manageable, I can take it anywhere without getting strange looks, and I can use either side depending on how much the sub can handle... ;)

[Oatmeal Girl]

I love my omni boy. He's very caring, funny, sweet, and smart. He's got a lot of goals for the future and a lot of dedication to what he loves. He's a healthy eater (as healthy as an omni can be), he loves to cook vegan food with me, and he loves taking me out to eat for vegan dinners. He doesn't drink or smoke, doesn't have any issues like jealousy or over-protectiveness, and he's pretty much my favorite person in the world. I used to be really bothered by the fact that he eats meat (no red, at least), but I love him too much to let it affect our relationship. My point is that I wouldn't disregard a person just because they are omni because there are so many wonderful things about people that you might be missing! Veganism is such a personal thing- if he respects my beliefs (and he does) then I'll respect his.

That's my original statement, and while it still rings true (that I love my omni boy) I want to change my answer. I currently live with three omnis, and I'm tired of smelling meat, and having a nasty uncleaned skillet on the counter for three days, and using a strainer that was previously used to rinse shrimp. I'm moving to Florida in two weeks w/o my bf (which means that we are indeed breaking up, but remaining friends), and when I decide to date again, I want a veggie partner. It would be oh-so-nice.

[FarmerStephen]

That's awesome O.G. - :)

We all wish you the best of luck in your Vegan hottie search...... ;)

[rianaelf]

my X was a meat eater and i tried to convince mys elf that it didn't matter that his hair smelt of lamb or beef and his kisses tasted of chicken cos i loved him and that was all that mattered but now we split up i have to admit that it is a great relief not to have pillows that smell of his hair and the constant fragrance of eu de barbeque hovering on my cloths.
i wud love to go out with a vegan but wudn't refuse a veggie cos they are at least halfway there but i'm not sure if i cud cope with a meat eater again :blank:

[rianaelf]

my X was a meat eater and i tried to convince mys elf that it didn't matter that his hair smelt of lamb or beef and his kisses tasted of chicken cos i loved him and that was all that mattered but now we split up i have to admit that it is a great relief not to have pillows that smell of his hair and the constant fragrance of eu de barbeque hovering on my cloths.
i wud love to go out with a vegan but wudn't refuse a veggie cos they are at least halfway there but i'm not sure if i cud cope with a meat eater again :blank:

i think i was just being mean and moody and hurt and somewhat extreme wen i wrote that cos more often than not he smelt lovely and his kisses were yummy <sigh>

[rantingsteve]

I'm single, would prefer a vegan man to share my life with; but I'm willing to settle for a non-vegan if he is willing to sit down and watch Earthlings with me.

[veganlife5]

wow so many veggie couples:) :blank: hope I can find a vegan bf. can't really see myself with an Non-vegan.

[mamaquilla]

wishing mine were vegan

[chikara_no_tori]

mamaquilla, i feel you there, hon...wishing it more everyday...:umm:

[downwithapathy]

I'm desirous of vegan love and relocation. S********* (not single--only I'm allowed to look for love :p) doesn't mind. :D

[GlassMoonAmy]

I feel VERY fortunate to have a vegan husband....although he was a meat-eater when I married him.

[mishka]

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that *one day* my partner will decide to go at least vegetarian... I doubt he'd ever go vegan :(

[GlassMoonAmy]

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that *one day* my partner will decide to go at least vegetarian... I doubt he'd ever go vegan :(

You never know…when we first started dating, the concept of vegetarianism was foreign to my hubby. I told him that if he wanted meat, he had to go to the store and buy it himself, prepare it himself, and clean up after himself….that was the only “pushing” I did with him, and since he hates going to the store that eliminated meat from his diet at home. For awhile he would still get meat at restaurants, but over time that started to dwindle. He was very subtle about it and never actually told me he was going vegetarian. I was never preachy to him, but just being with me got him starting to think, and finally he admitted that he had been thinking and vegetarianism was the way for him. Then he was the first that started migrating towards veganism; it was a joint journey for us, but he initiated it. So ya just never know what the future brings….

[thought criminelle]

My significant other.
Freegan.
I've been told that they are
lacto-ovo vegetarians
when they get food for free.
He definitely is a vegetarian, at least.
He intends to be vegan when
he's able to go shopping for himself.
He really has no choice.
What do you guys think about freegans?
Blasphemy?

[grog]

hi, we have a thread about freegans here (http://www.veganrepresent.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1272)

[thought criminelle]

Bahh!
Thanks.
Now I don't have to do ANY work.
Woohoo.

Enlightenment is awesome.

[grog]

we aims to please.

[big kahuna burger]

My wife is a vegan, I am not. But I do all the cooking so I make vegan dishes for the both of us. When I eat on my own...it depends on what I feel like.

She never pushes it on me and I never say shes crazy! :p

I guess you need to find a partner, maybe not vegan, but at least open minded.

We have been together for over 10 years, living together for almost 5, married for almost 3. So it is possible.

[kikkert]

But the plain fact is veganism means so much to me at my core that being with someone who doesn't share such a fundamental value is really not good for me. I hate it when I am proved wrong. But I have to amend my comment from a year ago. I think you can find someone who 'gets you' without being a carbon copy of you. Sharing a fundamental value and expressing that value are sometimes two very different things. Being an omnivore does not automatically mean a person does not respect or understand or is not mindful of their actions, suffering, and their place in the world. That said, I have a vegan home and am really struggling with the concept of compromising on that fact. I don't think I can. But I still have no desire to convert or proselytize in order to live in sheltered bubble.

Love is complicated.

[JasperKat]

Respect is the key, just like any area of relationships. If he/she respects your boundaries and is mindful of your comfort, it's doable.

-JK

[apples_for_eva]

my husband's not vegan, i can't see him even becoming vegetarian... however, he did try a little blob of the lentil/millet "burger mix" i made the other day, so maybe there is hope!! i'd love it if he converted, but i'm not holding my breath, either.

[veganarchist]

Could you be in a long term loving relationship with someone who was not a Vegan; someone who was not concerned about the principle of non harm to all creatures?

[Kat]

I don't think I could. I would feel like my partner wouldn't really understand ME since they can't seem to understand my veganism.

Plus I dream of a future where I'm sharing a well-stocked vegan kitchen with someone who is as enthusiastic about food and cooking as I am.

[Prophet]

Nope, it would annoy me to great ends.

[walrus]

No. I could date one, but if he wasn't willing to let up even just a little bit, there's no point in carrying it on. I have pretty good luck finding vegan dudes anyway. :D

[Miso Vegan]

I tried but gave up on omnivores, and found myself a nice vegan partner. Makes everything easier/nicer!

[Sexy Earth Mama]

My partner is omni, but really considerate. He stores and cooks his meat separate from my food. He's pretty open minded. If my wishing would make it so, he'd be a raw vegan and encourage me to be too. It would be really nice to eat vegan meals together. Right now we sort of eat in shifts:(

[Sunnysublime]

nope, I couldn't do it...thats why I'm still single

[luciapet]

i think it would be virtually impossible to live with a non-vegan. although i became a vegetarian before my partner did, we both became vegan at the same time. if our relationship ended and i found myself dating others, i would consider dating someone who wasn't a vegan (ie. vegetarian), but i think a meat-eater would be too depressing now. being single is infinitely preferable to compromising your beliefs.

[GreatSpirits]

So far, I haven't even been in the position to choose. I've never met another vegan--friend or otherwise.

[veganarchist]

So far, I haven't even been in the position to choose. I've never met another vegan--friend or otherwise.

aside from my partner I don't know any either. That's why this forum is so great, nearly 2000 vegans from all over....I'm Home

[Vegtink]

I met my husband when we were both omni's and I made the decision to become vegetarian and he was supportive of me. Chgecking out menus and what not ahead of time to make sure there would be things for me when he took me out to eat. When I went on my sabatical, as I like to call it, and realized that I truely did not like harming animals after about 6 months. My husband and I had a long talk and we discussed my need and want to become Vegan. He agreed that it was a great idea for me to persue doing something that had made me so happy in the past. He now reads labels before buying things to make sure that I can eat it. Though he still eats meat and I am not thrilled about it, he does eat whatever I cook for him. At least at home when I cook he eats veggie meals and does not mind. He still eats meat when out and eventhough I do not agree he supports my decision so I do not nag him. Our agreement works for us. I will keep preaching when I can and leaving reading materials around for him to look at hoping to convert him. It worked for my daughter, maybe it will work on him. If not I still love him.

[IncredibleWeirdo]

Of the last five women I've, uh, dated?, two were vegan and one vegetarian. They were vastly easier to get along and hang out with. Strangely, the longest of those was the "relationship" I had with the omnivore before I left Florida (I use quotes, because it wasn't really a relationship). And she turned out to be quite the deceitful one in the end - which was okay, as we stayed in Florida and I moved here. Not that that has anything to do with her omnivorousness.

[VegeTexan]

No. I could date one, but if he wasn't willing to let up even just a little bit, there's no point in carrying it on. I have pretty good luck finding vegan dudes anyway. :D

Hi Walrus, busy next Friday night?

I could date an unvegan, but no long-term relationship would be possible unless they followed the path. It's just too much a difference in compatability and life philosophy. I would like to date omnis if there was a chance to convert them. I think we vegans should date omnis towards that goal. As a matter of fact, it's our responcibility to do that. ;)

I was married to a vegetarian back when I was vegetarian.
In the last eight years that I have been vegan (and single), I have only dated vegans.
And attractive single vegan women are hard to find in west texas.

[QrkyMoon]

I just saw this thread again and out of curiosity read back to my original post, two years ago. I said in that post that I am fine w/ dating an omni and reading through it, I agree with my points. However, I have changed my mind. No matter how great the omni is, they are using animals for their own personal greed. You don't have to eat meat to live, you can live a wonderful life as a vegan, yet they choose not to. I am not judging them for this. As I stated in my first post, some people don't even know that veganism is an option. But, if this is going to be someone that I spend my life with, someone that is suppose to be my friend and more, I can't have them disregard animals without even blinking.

Veganism is really important to me because for me it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. I can't have someone in my life who doesn't share my lifestyle.

So my vote has now changed that the person has to be vegan.

[earthstorm]

Unfortunately neither my hubby or son are Vegan, not even Veggie. When I went Vegan they stayed carnivores. They do tend to eat some of my food too, but it is still not easy.

Living with two carnivores and smelling and seeing what they cook has been pretty hard on me, especially when my son asks me to make him something I now despise. Or when I go food shopping.

But I support them on their decision because they supported and helped me with mine. Besides, who am I to tell another how to live their life?

But if I ever were to start dating again, I do not think I could be with another who was not Vegan, it is way too difficult.

It may be discriminating, but I just don't think I would want to purposely put myself through this again.

[attackferret]

my boy is vegetarian, not vegan. however, when we're cooking we only make vegan food. even for snacks or an extra part of the meal i'm not eating (he exercises, and therefore eats, quite a bit), he tries to make it vegan. he still eats vegetarian at restaurants, and probably when i'm not around. when i just visited him, though, he said he was consciously trying to eat less cheese. baby steps :)

[earthstorm]

my boy is vegetarian, not vegan. however, when we're cooking we only make vegan food. even for snacks or an extra part of the meal i'm not eating (he exercises, and therefore eats, quite a bit), he tries to make it vegan. he still eats vegetarian at restaurants, and probably when i'm not around. when i just visited him, though, he said he was consciously trying to eat less cheese. baby steps :)

That's awesome! And you're right, baby steps, every little bit helps!

Unfortunately I am not in control of the food here as I work and DH is the homemaker, so he makes everything. I am lucky tho in that he will make me 100% Vegan meals and even tries to find new and different things for me.

Hopefully when my son is older my influence will help a bit more.

Keep up the awesome work, you're a great role model! :)

[Astrocat]

I have had 3 boyfriends (or long-term partners, whatever you want to call them)

I think it is imprudent and wrong to enter into a relationship with a main intention of changing the other person..... that really isn;t attractive or romantic at all.

I would wish a partner to be compassionate, respectful of others, unprejudiced, and would wish to be with someone who i am happy with (rather than somebody who i wanted to change) and for this reason obviously omnivores are out of the question since eating flesh is fundamentally disrespectful of life, discompassionate and involves prejudice against those whose bodies are eaten.

My first partner was vegetarian, the second partner was vegan, and so is my present boyfriend.

I wonder how many of the people who are dating omnivores would be with their partner if they were hunters.... and how many of the people who consider omnivores as dating partners would all the same not consider a hardcore hunter.

Most omnivores in the west are really hardcore about it, eating it not just every week, but often several times a week or even every single day.

If they weren;t taking advantage of the incredibly unethical mass-industry abuse, biological manipulation, and exploitation of animals - then obviously they would have to do the honest thing and go out and kill their own animals to eat, if they wished to do so. Obviously then the animals who they eat will have lived reasonably 'natural' lives, won;t have been artificially messed about with (re: growth promoters, mutation through enforced select breeding, etc) and quite possibly will have been killed in a less drawn-out and horrible manner (although hunters often miss, which is pretty grim so they say) ... also, no human explotiation would be involed, compared to the huge amount inflicted within the animal-abuse industries.

Effectively, thusly, hunters are more honest, less lazy, less disassociative and less exploitative than manywestern omnivores who instead buy neat little trays of pre-sliced, pre-cleaned flesh from supermarkets or wherever, because this is easier to do than hunting animals themselves, and makes disassociative techniques easier to use (thus making flesh consumption less morally tiring, and generally much easier, for them)

For many people eating flesh is simply a form of killing for pleasure, or abusing others because it is convenient to do so..... and i don;t find people who participate in that sort of thing to be attractive.

If others here do, then that's no problem.
I don't see anything morally wrong with this approach, if they want to get it on with omnivores.

But, i wouldn't.

[MissLovely]

my husband is a vegetarian, but he's vegan when we're together. he just eats dairy if his work buys lunch. if something happened between us, i would stick with dating vegans. but that's unlikely.

[VeganArtist]

Most of us were not lucky enough to be raised from birth as a vegan. So, that means that most of us made the choice for ourselves at some point in our lives to become vegan. Most of us, at some point were omnis. Everyone has the potential to change.

I think that a person can love someone for many different reasons. If we all loved someone that was exactly like us, then there would be no love. Everyone is unique. If I were still an omni, and a vegan blew me off because of it, it would probably turn me away from veganism. To stay in a "vegan" box, and not let any non-vegans inside is like a cult. I don't want to be thought of as a vegan "snob". I am not saying that anyone that posted here is a snob. I am just saying that I feel that it might come across that way to omnis. Everyone has reasons for why they do or don't do certain things in life. Give them at least the "chance" to change, while listening to their reasons as well.

I totally understand the inclination of a vegan to want to be with another vegan, but to let that single fact determine your love for someone seems closed off. If that is your preference, that is cool, but it isn't necessary. I think that we can get caught up in trying to make our lives totally, purely vegan, which is great, but not realistic at this point. Almost everything contains animal products. In my opinion, the world, at this time, is not "pure". It's VERY cool to try, but I don't think that you should let it affect your feelings for other human beings, who may never again be exposed to veganism. They may never get the chance to "truly" decide without bias. If you shut them out, it really doesn't give them much incentive to try veganism at all. In fact they are likely to bad-mouth it.

I understand that veganism means a great deal to us, but I think that being a little more open to others who have not yet understood, would spread the word a lot more quickly than staying closed off to the rest of the world. In my opinion, it takes courage to be around others that are unlike yourself, especially those that challenge your beliefs. This can be thought of in different ways. On one hand, it takes courage for us to be around the omnis because we feel strongly about our beliefs, and to see others not feeling as strongly disturbs us a great deal. We would rather not feel uncomfortable and have to explain our decision every time we don't eat animal products. Yes, it is annoying as heck, but like I mentioned, it takes courage to stand up for what you believe in. On the other hand, it takes courage for the omnis to be around us because I think that our beliefs are intimidating to them. So why not make it less intimidating, and show them that they don't have to be "perfect" around us? They are the ones who still need to make the change - we, as vegans, have already done so. Vegans aren't ethically perfect either. Veganism, to me, is a constant learning experience. Do you remember when you first learned about gelatin?

Omnis are not bad people. They have lots of good things about them, just like vegans. The single fact that they eat meat does not make them evil. Most of us have been raised eating meat. It "seems" "normal" to most people. We might think that they are cruel for exploiting animals, but that is just because we already know what needs to be known in order to "get" the concept. It will take a lot of work on our part to un-do what has been done, regarding unnecessary animal exploitation. A lot of omnis just need to be informed, some need a little more convincing, and some may never change because of reasons that might be too deep in their psyche for anyone to understand. Looking at the big picture, veganism is about compassion for all living things. Humans are complex... deal with it. Don't avoid it. You can't force someone to be vegan, but you can give him or her the facts, and let them decide for themselves. They may decide instantly, it may take many years, or they may decide and then change their mind. Loving someone who is not vegan might seem like a contradiction in our beliefs, but it really isn't when you look at the big picture. :blank:I became vegan (and posted this) just a few months after getting married to my omni husband. Now that I have been vegan for over a year, my perspective has changed somewhat. I still feel the same about most of what I posted last year, but if I had never met my husband, and I had to choose a partner again, I would probably gravitate toward people that are already vegan. Being vegan is such a big part of who I am, and I feel that things would be easier if my life companion already shared my defining values. The differences are just sometimes so difficult to deal with inside. Also, I find it to be extremely attractive when someone is vegan, so initially, that would probably be a quality that I would look for in a person without even thinking. My husband is very supportive of my veganism. I think that all successful relationships are "2-way streets". In a vegan/omni relationship, the vegan must be patient with the omni, and the omni must be supportive of the vegan.

Edited: On a positive note, I love my hubby so much, and I am glad that things worked out the way theat they did! :smitten:

[earthstorm]

I became vegan (and posted this) just a few months after getting married to my omni husband. Now that I have been vegan for over a year, my perspective has changed somewhat. I still feel the same about most of what I posted last year, but if I had never met my husband, and I had to choose a partner again, I would probably gravitate toward people that are already vegan. Being vegan is such a big part of who I am, and I feel that things would be easier if my life companion already shared my defining values. The differences are just sometimes so difficult to deal with inside. Also, I find it to be extremely attractive when someone is vegan, so initially, that would probably be a quality that I would look for in a person without even thinking. My husband is very supportive of my veganism. I think that all successful relationships are "2-way streets". In a vegan/omni relationship, the vegan must be patient with the omni, and the omni must be supportive of the vegan.

Edited: On a positive note, I love my hubby so much, and I am glad that things worked out the way theat they did! :smitten:



Very well put! And congrats, it sounds like you are very happy! :happy:

[QrkyMoon]

I have had 3 boyfriends...

LOL! I read that as: I have 3 boyfriends... I was about to be extremely impressed w/ your juggling skills ;)