Gay it up

[dviolet]

Originally posted by VeganKen
I want to like Queer Eye, but part of me still thinks it perpetuates the stereotype that it's okay to be gay, as long as you're amusing and know your place. I mean I'm glad there are more and more gay characters on TV and all. But I don't want them to be treated like eunichs either.

I see your point, Ken. Personally, I know that's not what all gay men are like, but the less... shall we say... "informed" people in like Po Dunk, Iowa are going to judge all gay men like that. I can't help it, though. I :heart: Carson! He cracks me up every time.

The portrayal of gay men in TV now reminds me of the phase women went through, African Americans, Latinos, and all other minorities. First it starts out with the most stereotypical roles e.g. housewife, Mom, perfect lady for women in the 1950's. It will take some time for gays and lesbians to get past the stereotypes on TV. Even women still have mostly stereotypical roles, sprinkled with some good ones that usually get played by the likes of Meryl Streep. Only straight, white men have the luxury of range and depth of character in roles. And they're the only ones who can be ugly actors, too. I wouldn't mind all the prettiness on TV if the men were held to the same standard too! :p

[VeganKen]

Yeah, I don't know. I use to be an interior designer and remember my boss encouraging me to "gay it up" around some clients. Most of design is just sales so you use whatever angle works the best. When I watch Queer Eye, what I see are a group of guys working an angle to sell a product. It makes me sad - bad associations I guess.

That said I'm guilty of the doing the same, when it suits my purpose. In the last issue of the Green Goat I wrote an article using a gay stereotype. I'm not going to do that anymore, however. I may be effeminate, I may be styling, but I ain't anybody's monkey on a string - even my own.

Funny that this is hitting a sore spot. You think you've gain control over a situation and it turns out you don't. Oh, well. No worries. :) Enjoy the show, just keep in mind that what you're being sold isn't reality.

[herbi]

Originally posted by VeganKen
my boss encouraging me to "gay it up" around some clients.

Sorry, but LOL at that phrase! :) "What're you gonna do tonight?" "Eh, I dunno... go out & gay it up I guess..." :)

Funny that this is hitting a sore spot. You think you've gain control over a situation and it turns out you don't. Oh, well. No worries. :) Enjoy the show, just keep in mind that what you're being sold isn't reality.

Sorry, Ken. :umm: I promise there's at least one viewer here who isn't buying the stereotypes. You ARE stylin', and you rock, and if you want me to I will vow to never watch the show again and write an indignant letter to the producers! I mean, it's fun to watch makeovers, but not if doing so makes a friend feel bad.
:loveyou:

[Wonko The Sane]

"Gay it up" certainly generated some tittering, but I must say that I love the "monkey on a string" line much more!

http://www.ih8you.com/images/ape.gif

Oh, how I wish I had a monkey on a string! All the kids in the neighborhood would be so jealous. :D

Carson ROCKS! (even if he is "gaying it up").

[VeganKen]

I didn't really mean for the "gay it up" comment to be funny. I found it very demeaning at the time. It's a word play on the term "straightening up" which means to rid the house of gay identified objects so that the family doesn't know you're gay.

I have a hard time with this recent "hipness" being ascribed to gays in the media. I sure as heck don't see it. Least of all when I'm being called "faggot" or when every other guy thinks I'm hitting on him because I said "hello", or having people assume that I have AIDS every time I cough. Sure it's fun to see the effeminate guy make a fool of himself on TV but try living it for a while. It might not seem so entertaining then. This isn't a personal attack on anyone, I'm just flustrated by what we, as GLBT people, are doing, and allowing to be done, to ourselves. I can't even read "Out" magazine without getting worked up. Even the message in that rag is straight acting = friends/happiness, while anything else = failure/unhappiness. It makes me so mad that people are buying into this sh*t. Is the long term damage worth the short term gains?

[herbi]

Originally posted by VeganKen
I didn't really mean for the "gay it up" comment to be funny. I found it very demeaning at the time. It's a word play on the term "straightening up" which means to rid the house of gay identified objects so that the family doesn't know you're gay.

:( Sorry :umm: Just that me & my friends say "(fill in the blank) it up" all the time, & that seemed like a funny thing to put in the phrase. It didn't even occur to me that your boss ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO YOU?!?! I thought you must just have the same slang as me?! :umm: That sucks.

I have a hard time with this recent "hipness" being ascribed to gays in the media. I sure as heck don't see it. Least of all when I'm being called "faggot" or when every other guy thinks I'm hitting on him because I said "hello", or having people assume that I have AIDS every time I cough. Sure it's fun to see the effeminate guy make a fool of himself on TV but try living it for a while. It might not seem so entertaining then. This isn't a personal attack on anyone, I'm just flustrated by what we, as GLBT people, are doing, and allowing to be done, to ourselves. I can't even read "Out" magazine without getting worked up. Even the message in that rag is straight acting = friends/happiness, while anything else = failure/unhappiness. It makes me so mad that people are buying into this sh*t. Is the long term damage worth the short term gains? [/B]

Jeez, Ken... I don't even know what to say to that except to offer a virtual hug... :heart:

I don't at all want to single you out as THE Gay Guy Who Will Represent All Gay Guys on the VRF, but, if and only if you feel like ranting about it some more, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts (in a different thread maybe?!) on how that "Act Straight!" message reconciles with the very Hipness of All Things Gay/Camp that has indeed been in the media for a good few years now. Kind of a contradiction. "Gay people are so much cooler than heteros... as long as you're not one of them, of course..."

[madpogue]

Originally posted by VeganKen
I use to be an interior designer and remember my boss encouraging me to "gay it up" around some clients. Sorry to be chiming in late on this thread, but, ummmmm, doesn't this constitute a hostile work environment, either workplace discrimination or workplace harrassment?

[VeganKen]

Originally posted by madpogue
Sorry to be chiming in late on this thread, but, ummmmm, doesn't this constitute a hostile work environment, either workplace discrimination or workplace harrassment?

Probably, but that was ten years ago in another state, there were no laws protecting gays. If I had even gotten a case into court, which is unlikely as discrimination/hostile work environment is hard to prove, I would have most likely just lost my job and my apartment. It's still perfectly legal in most states to discriminate against someone because of their perceived sexual preferences. It usually doesn't get that far though because people are just intimidated into moving/leaving.

[fayking]

i have been 'out' in all my workplaces and have been told to 'tone it down' (heehee i look like a total lesbian apparently!) by several of my managers...especially when i worked with children, incase their parents would be offended by the scary skin head lesbian...
( what do they expect me to do wear a hat!!)

none of my gay friends who teach dare come out at work..mainly due to a scary law called section 28 in the uk which outlaws the promotion of homosexuality in schools....because just been out to your collegues at work means your promoting doesnt it! ahhhhhhhh!!

[Emiloid]

Originally posted by VeganKen
I didn't really mean for the "gay it up" comment to be funny. I found it very demeaning at the time.

That does suck. I thought it sounded funny, but more in a "what the heck?!?" kind of way.

I wonder whether some of the guys on Queer Eye are even gay. It's so overdone, they could be straight guys putting on the gay act for the sake of the show. I find the show sort of amusing, but terrible at the same time. Aside from the stereotyping of gay men, it also stereotypes straight women, straight men, and heterosexual relationships. Most of the episodes I've seen (which is maybe four) are about a guy who is "turned in" by his girlfriend because he needs "refinement". It suggests that women always want to change their man, and also that men are not supposed to take advice from women. However, if a feminised man gives them pointers it isn't a threat to their masculinity because... I guess... it's still advice from a man.

So, women are picky girly-girls who can't just love and accept a guy for who he is. Men are big, crass lugs who are threatened by advice from a woman. Heterosexuality is characterised as a parent-child type relationship.

Why can't we all just get along?!?

[VeganMegan]

I thought “how ironic” when I saw this thread because just yesterday on the local talk radio channel they were talking about how being gay is the latest trend. They actually had a word for it but I can’t remember what it was. They said there was also a South Park episode about it too. Anyway, they were talking about how all of these guys are acting gay to get women!

As for the show you guys are talking about, I've never seen it and won't since I don't watch TV. I just wanted to share what I heard on the radio.


Ken, you're awesome:heart:! I'm sorry you've had such a bad time with your former boss.