Any luck making parents go vegan?

[Adam]

I'm currently using every trick I can think of to make my parents take on a vegan diet. It would be cool if they switched over, not only for them as individuals, but for the coffee shop (http://www.earthtonescoffee.com) we own.

We probably go through 70 gallons of milk a week there. Our pastries, cakes, cookies, etc. are mostly non-vegan. We offer soy milk, but only 1 out of 50 people request it in their drinks. Our employees often talk down about soy milk, and will offer Lactaid instead.

Maybe I'm being irrational in thinking I can convert my parents, and should go for smaller steps instead, like trying to find a vegan pamphlet they'll allow in the store (they've rejected everything I've shown them so far). Or maybe a soy milk promotion. A vegan cookie option?

Is there anyone on these boards who succesfully got Standard American Diet parents to go vegan? One of my chums says that you can't change somebody's mind if they've changed your diapers. I just want a sliver of hope that I indeed can.

Past that, any suggestions on how to persuade one's parents?

[jenbizagogo]

Hey Adam,

I've sorta got a psuedo success story with my parents....unfortunately, I haven't yet gotten them to go vegan, but they have been vegetarian for almost 3 years now.

It all pretty much started when i went vegan and got really into animal rights activism...They were having a REALLY REALLY hard time understanding what I was doing and why. It was all good for them when I was just a soft spoken vegetarian, but when I started going to demos and doing civil disobedience...well, they became somewhat concerned. "What are you doing getting arrested-you'll never be able to get a job!!!!!" I tried explaining to them why veganism and AR is so important to me, but they just weren't getting it. So I gave them a copy of PETA's Belcross Pig Farm Investigation videotape to watch...cuz, well, that pretty much speaks for itself. Immediately after watching it, they called me and we talked about the video a bit. They were clearly distraught. They told me they'd support whatever AR stuff i did with no question, and informed me from that moment on they would not be eating meat anymore.

I was really proud of them for that! I was really hoping that someday they would go veg, but I wasn't really holding my breath. I mean, they were 60+ years old and up til that point totally ate your Standard American Diet. They still do eat quite a bit of dairy and eggs, although I've slowly been introducing substitutes to them. They've switched pretty much over to soy milk, and they use some of the tofutti products (Sour Supreme/Better Than Cream Cheese). I think one of these days I may show them Compassion Over Killing's Battery Farm video.

So there is hope out there for parents! Mine were so the typical Meat & Potatoes kind of eaters!! I think it's cool that you are trying to get yours to implement some changes at the coffee shop. I know I'd certainly be more likely to buy my java at a place that sold vegan cookies (Mmmmmm! :p ). Good luck, Adam! Sorry I don't really have much advise to give...

[shade]

I havn't turned my parents over to a vegan diet, but there definately have made progress. They used to be huge meat eaters. Now they eat meat about once a week and are more than willing to try any sort of dairy/meat substitutes. They love a vegan chinese restaraunt here that I always drag them along to. My mom now uses Tofutti Supreme Sour Creme and Better Than Cream Cheese rather than the real thing which is super cool. I've also gotten them to eat soy yogurt a few times and they gobble up any vegan baking that I do before I have the chance to even smell it myself. I don't think that they will ever be vegans, but htere are a lot more health conscious now and also a lot more willing to try new vegan things! :D

[Dandelion]

Go on Jen, tell em about the answering machine message.

[jenbizagogo]

Originally posted by Dandelion
Go on Jen, tell em about the answering machine message.

Oh geez....since you brought it up...:p
My parents answering machine greeting says: "Hi we can't come to the phone right now. Leave us a message and we'll get back to you. Goooooooooo vegetarian." They're sillie! :silly:

[downwithapathy]

As many of you know, I was raised by an ultra-cool grandma, who I affectionately call "Mom".
As cool and smart as she is, this woman has tranditionally maintained a rather pathetic diet, and she smoked heavily until my freshman year of high school. Now that's she's finally turned herself around, the past is biting her buttocks in innumerable ways. :mad:
She isn't veg*an, and I've never expected her to make the change. She was very supportive and even *proud* when I went vegetarian in high school....but has, from the start, made it clear that she *can't* be a vegetarian...and I never pushed her....because she's chronically stressed-out I understand why.
When I left for college, a vegetarian, her diet was more healthful than it had probably ever been. ...but then she took in my carnivorous little brother for a few months (my birth mother isn't too crazy or drugged to raise children, just submissive to her crappy husband :furious: --"Mom" would have raised all three of us had she the means) and the ol' diet took a huge downturn.
Well...I'm home for the weekend and "Mom" has made me the happiest person in the world with two sentences. When the subject of veg*anism came up yesterday, she said, "You know, Colly (she can't call me Sonja 'cause that's her name too), I'm not far off. I could be a vegetarian...not a vegan though." :banana: This is like McDonald's saying, "You know, we could make all of our burgers out of soy". I hope this leads somewhere.....and I want my mama to somehow pull her body back together.

...and that's WAY rockin', Jen!

[spacehippy]

My parents aren't but I have a friend who has. She said it took her about ten years but she finally managed to get her parents to change to a vegetarian diet. The key to her success is persistence.

[Adams]

I’m not sure how to help you out. It really depends on what your parents are like. Both of mine are still omnis, and while I don’t ‘expect’ them to change I still have hopes. My dad is a political lefty, which helps, and my mom is a total sucker for animals. I’ve also got my sister completely addicted to tofu. :) I think it’s just a matter of time before they realize that this lifestyle is consistent with who they already are. Maybe some sad, hard-hitting animal videos will help me get them there faster. ;)

They are reasonable people, and veganism is what reasonable people do. :D

[Adam]

It's excellent to hear about so many different situations between vegans and their parents. I will try not to get discouraged if my parents only go vegetarian.

My folks fast foward through the intense parts of the animal videos I show them, but maybe if I play one for them that's all-intense, they wouldn't have the option of being escapist.

Here's an over-simplification of my current plan:
Stage 1 (already in effect): Media
Show the parents literature, videos, audio recordings, etc. This weekend they're listening to "Veganism in a Nutshell." (http://flashed.2ya.com/public/download/veg/media/veganism_in_a_nutshell) They seem pretty willing to check out the things I give them, but they always say something like "is this going to make me feel bad about myself?" Not about yourself, about the choices you make.

Stage 2: Reality
I've come to know a really cool ex-veal calf, and maybe introducing my parents to this animal will help them understand the situation a little better. Everyone should know a cow personally, anyway. A tour of a slaughter house would be ideal, but I don't think that'll happen with my folks.

Stage 3: The hard sell
Getting them to go vegetarian would rock, but it's gotta be vegan for drastic coffee shop changes to happen, and I need to figure out the final move to get them to switch over. Can two mature people have the compassion and reflection to admit that what they've done all their lives is wrong? I'm sure it happens all the time.

Has anyone ever gotten into fights with their parents because they were actively trying to make their parents go veg*n? I only seem to exchange words when they suggest I go lacto-ovo; they don't mind when I suggest veganism to them, perhaps because they think it's a joke.

[chenresig]

any luck making parents go vegan?

none whatsoever :D ... but i did phone home one day to hear tht they were having a lentil dish for tea (from a recipe i had introduced to them) - my parents were very "meat and two veg"

more success with my sister though - she now only eats veggie plus fish, but more importantly, she is thinking about her food more, and concerned about trying to help her children eat more healthily. its a start.....

[VeganKen]

My Mom has been staying with me for the past ten days and has been eating about 90% vegan (I can't control what she eats when we go out). She admits that she was nervous about not being allowed to have animal products in the house but has since come around. She's asked for several of the recipes that I've made and even ordered a vegan meal, totally unprompted by me, at a restaurant the other night. :D

I doubt that she'll ever go vegetarian, she says that she won't. However, I'd like to think that she'll start thinking more about what she puts into her body and will add more veg*n meals to her diet.

She does blame one of the meals that I cooked with giving her some stomach discomfort so we may have back slid a bit there. :(

I think that's cool that you care so much about your parents that you want them to be healthy and aware. Provide them with the information and then let them make up their own mind. No one likes to be preached at (not that you are). The vegan coffee shop idea is great. The one by my house has two vegan treats (a carob-rasberry bar and a rice crispy bar w/carob topping) and I go there all the time to support them.

Best of luck with the folks! :)

[VeganMegan]

My parents are both 110% anti-vegan and continue to kill themselves on the S.A.D. diet. (Standard American Diet).

I still attempt to convert them to a vegan diet everytime I talk to them or see them. I'm their #1 most annoying daughter. :D


Good luck trying to convert your parents Adam!

[shedonteatmeat]

My parents are also the typical meaty diet- blehhh. I make every attempt imaginable to convert them, especially since I can't handle hearing them whine about wanting to lose weight, eat healthy, etc etc and not do a damn thing about it.

They'll eat anything vegan I make that doesn't include any unfamiliar foods (my mother is sooooo picky, I swear if it isn't a processed junk food, its scary to her!), and my dad (finally) openly likes Boca Burgers and sausages.

My brother and sister think I'm beyond nuts, but don't care much unless it involves what they'll be eating. They don't pick on my about veganism or anything, but they don't *get it* at all.

One good thing though: My dad no longer harrasses me about eating too much salt (the only good thing he does diet wise is not eat much salt, and salt is my vice. my addiction!). If he mentions it, I say "I'll quit salt right now 100% if you quit meat" And it shuts him up immedietly :D

[kristeenamarie]

Not a chance in the world my parents will adopt my diet.

Once my mom said she'd give up all pork, poultry, and red meat for a month (completely on her own will)

but within a couple weeks she was scarfing a hamburger at a family BBQ.


I keep trying, but I think at this point they relish in the idea of eating meat just to make me look like my efforts mean nothing.

[jenzie]

I'm getting there! ;)

When I first went veg, my Mom freaked that I wouldn't get enough protein. Things calmed down after I explained how inaccurate that was, but heated right back up again when we were having a discussion about weight loss and veganism came up.

My Mom is overweight and we have a history of family problems related to obesity. So while my desire to see her go veg*n steams from my love and compassion for animals, I want her to adopt the diet even more for her health. I think it was Kelly who said her folks are always on about losing weight and whatnot... my Mom is as well. And when I see no efforts on her part to improve her diet, I get frustrated. (She's the only living family member I've got left!)

Anywho, there's been progress. She now uses Earth Balance spread in place of butter, and she likes the Tofutti sour cream a whole lot too. I'm slowly getting her to eat more organic produce, and less meat. We almost always go grocery shopping together (even tho we don't live together anymore! ;))... and really I think that's helped the most. She often feels uncomfortable putting meat and such in the cart when I'm right there since she knows my feelings on it. So she is more receptive at those times when I recommend alternatives. To name a few, we've replaced burgers with soy burgers, Oreos with Newman-O's, Eggos with SoyPlus, and I've got her interested in veg beans, too.

She gets really excited when I make dishes for her, and she tries to be really accommodating on the rare occasion that we go out to eat somewhere. Ex: For Mother's Day everyone went out to eat at a place of her choice, but she called the restaurant ahead of time to tell them I was vegan and find out what they had available! :D I know that last example has more to do with being accepting of -my- diet, and not so much changing her own... however, I see that as a step in the right direction. If your folks are willing to consider your feelings about food choices, they're more likely to make similar choices themselves one day (because they're able to better understand where you're coming from).

So yeah. That probably doesn't help you a damn bit. :p I do think it is possible though, for parents to 'make the switch.' If my Mom, Ms. 'Fruit makes me feel bad, meat t is the only thing that I like' can entertain the idea of eating soy instead, well - I think there's hope for all of us. ;)

Oh, and about the vegan cafe idea... would it be possible to get a list/petition of sorts of all the veg*n folks in the area, to show your parents how much support they have in making a change? Also, an idea you might want to suggest is for them to maybe make one of the food options vegan and see how receptive people are to it (if they notice a difference at all!). Would it be cheaper for them to run the business if it were vegan? If so, an excellent point to bring up. If not, I didn't hear anything. ;) :p

[San]

My mom gave up beef during the Jack in the Box E. Coli scare in the early 90's. When we got pet chickens, she mentioned that she found it difficult for her to continue eating chickens. Having pet chickens finally motivated me to give up meat, except seafood went a few months later, and as a new "veg" I asked her why she didn't eat cows. She said she felt sorry for them, and thought they were cute. So I said, "Then how are chickens different?" She didn't really have an answer, since she personally knew how wonderful chickens are, and gave up chicken! She still eats seafood or gelatin or dairy/eggs though. She gets her milk from a local dairy she doesn't think is bad, although I've explained about veal calves (I even E-mailed her dairy and asked to verify for her). I don't really mind if she eats the eggs from our own chickens since they're pets and lay them anyways... I only recently stopped eating them a few months ago. But she doesn't eat fish often, so I should be happy she's come this far.

Although my parents are married and I still live at home (until September) I don't talk to my dad much. He's gone a lot and when he's home our personalities clash. He doesn't really understand what veganism is, and I don't really feel comfortable talking to him about it. He eats whatever is put in front of him, whether its an unusual vegan dish or meat and potatoes.

On a side note, my brother calls himself vegetarian after he borrowed my Vegan literature and did a report on factory farming. He even avoids gelatin, which I think most people who call themselves vegetarians don't. I'm not sure how serious he is about being veg, though, as he said he would eat meat if he was a dinner guest and there was nothing else to eat. I don't know if he was serious or trying to be an annoying little brother.

[misanthropy]

My parents don't eat that much meat or animal products (it's almost never the centre of their meals) but I don't think I'll be able to convince them. But it doesn't me I won't keep trying! :p

They do however respect and support my veganism (even though they worry I'm not getting enough to eat!) and load me up with vegan food every time I see them.

And I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Jenbizagogo and her parents rock!

:banana:

[jenbizagogo]

Originally posted by misanthropy

And I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Jenbizagogo and her parents rock!


Awww :blush:

[iamtheqbu]

It took six months for me to convince my mom to go veggie, but she admits to never really liking meat to begin with. She has a really sad story about a pet pig she had as a child, but her mother had to slaughter it to eat because she had nine children and no income. My mother remembers hiding under the bed and crying as the screams of her piggy reached her ears. That explains why we never ate pork, ever. She would have given up all meat earlier, but I was at college all year. It really only took a week once I went home for the summer. She's vegan at home, but only l/o veggie when we eat out, though she does not order eggs for breakfast.
I have yet to convert my dad, but it won't be long now, I can tell. It started when we took a family vacation to Farm Sancuary and stayed at the Bed and Breakfast cabins. He wasn't too keen on learning anything, but there was a three minute video about factory farms before the tour that he had to watch. Score. ;) When we asked him what he thought he said, "It made an impression on me, but then there's the call of the chilli dog." Bastard. :mad: But at least he knows now, and his endless taunting and teasing has stopped entirely.

Update!!!! The house is now vegetarian!! I repeat, NO MEAT IN THE HOUSE! Yay for my dad who suggested it in the first place!! :D See, I told ya! ;)

[Leanan]

If my parents even went Vegetarian, I'd have to wonder if hell froze over, so the chances they'd go Vegan are way less than 0.

Every meal that my mom cooks has meat and dairy in it. It's because of my dad. God forbid you set him down to a meal without some type of slaughtered animal in it. My mom has said before that she could go with less meat, but no, she'd never give it up entirely. My dad doesn't even eat salads - he calls them "rabbit food".

I'm looked at as the freak of the family, and no one understands - even when I repeatedly tell them the reasons why I went Vegan. My dad says things like, "Do you really like that crap that you eat?" and my mom - even though she accepts my way of eating - she still doesn't get the dairy aspect of it, and even throws out comments like "Oh, then I guess you'll have to change your ways" when I come to a problem - like not being able to find any vegan cheese, or the fact that no one carries Tofutti anything around here.

It does tick me off, and I have gotten into small fights with my mom about it, mostly because she doesn't seem to think that what she is eating used to be that cute animal in the field, nor does she understand why eating eggs and drinking milk is hurting the animals. I've even sent her emails and websites and she refuses to look at them. She jokingly told me once that I was "just trying to be better than everyone else." And I really think she thinks that deep down! Ugh!

Oops, sorry this kind of turned into a rant! :blush: But, I do wish you luck with the cafe going Vegan! That would be very cool! :) Hopefully your parents will start thinking about it more, and maybe make little changes to start off, if they don't want to make an entire change overnight.

[bearhino]

my moms a vegan, but my dad just eats what his wife fixes him, my step mom, my dads wife, pretty much is on a low carbohydrate diet like the atkins! and it bothers me because ever time i see them they look worse, and my step moms allready has had kidney stones!
:brood: :heart: :yes:

[bearhino]

my sisters pretty much a vege but still she eats whatever she wants so shes inbetween and she also drinks alot. My brother is not a vege and drinks alot and has a bad diet, but he understand why im a vegan, and i fear for his health, as does my mom, i think its because he doesnt want to be different from his girlfriend and friends.:( :brood: :heart:

[QrkyMoon]

Im actually really lucky in that it was my mother (animal hater that she is- lol) who got me started on the veggie thing. Last yr we both started purposely eating less and less dairy and eggs, and while I have gone vegan, she almost is (she will eat dairy or eggs if theyre in something- but wont eat them purposely or plain).

My sister and father became veggies a few yrs after my mother and I became veggies (though my dad still ate fish and seafood). My sister isnt a vegan, nor do I really pressure her to... though I will feed my dads tuna to my cat whenever we go over there :D Hmm... perhaps thats why my cat isnt allowed at his apt anymore... hehe.

His gf is sort of annoying, though... she eats meat and grew up on a farm, so hes eating more fish (and probably meat when Im not around). She does really make an effort to make me vegan food whenever I go there. I know there isnt a chance of ever getting her and my dad to go even fully veg... much less vegan. Its just too deeply ingrained that animals are only here for our use.

I guess my thoughts on veganism are that its everyones own choice. While I would love the world to be vegan, I cant make it be vegan. It sucks, but all I can do is try to give them all the info and let them make their own choices.

Perhaps you can try to compromise w/ them? Instead of trying to get them (and the coffee shop) to become vegan, perhaps you can get them to agree to offer vegan options? And if you cant find a vegan pamphlet that they like, perhaps make your own? Also, its a family owned shop... so I would feel free to step in and speak w/ the employees about trying to dissuade customers from using soy milk.

Another thought... I was looking on the web site you gave and you have an events page... could you have a vegan luncheon or something? Maybe even try to use that Meetup site to help coordinate it? That may help your parents decide to offer more vegan options... cuz they sorta have to for that day if theyre going to have a bunch of vegans and if the vegans express interest in coming back if they continue to have vegan food, thatll be great for business.

[Emiloid]

It's great to hear all these (at least partial) success stories. My own parents don't seem to be headed towards veggie-ness of any kind. Although perhaps a bit baffled, my family is fairly accepting of my choice, which is nice. My hope is that they will at least cut back on animal foods. I mean I wish they'd go veggie, but I can't see that happening.

As far as the coffee shop is concerned, I agree with QrkyP, that you probably have the authority to ask the employees to offer soy more graciously. Also, there would be no harm in making a few vegan cookies or pastries. You could make a big batch of dough and freeze it so you only have to actually bake as many as you think might sell. Your folks could be reminded that everyone can eat vegan food, not just vegans! Also, rather than labelling the cookies vegan, you could just offer them with the rest of the cookies, and have a small sign nearby saying, "ask about our vegan baked goods". That way omnis won't pass up the vegan stuff simply because it's vegan... but vegans will know that they have options.

Also, have you considered opening your own shop? Or perhaps taking over when/if your parents retire? I bet you get a lot of good experience being involved in the family cafe and you could apply it to your own business. Maybe your family would even help you financially, as a business venture?

[iamtheqbu]

I was gonna start a new thread but this seems an appropriate place to brag on my awesome vegan family.

I haven't been home for several months now and I forgot how good it felt to be surrounded by vegans all the time. In Meadville my only real social outing is the mandatory weekly Bonner Leader meetings where two of the members are assigned 'food duty'. Needless to say, I only eat well at these events when I'm cooking or when I bring my own. I even had one girl jump down my throat for bringing my own food one time because she spent extra to make a vegetarian dish for me (which I appreciate) except it had egg in it. She didn't care that I couldn't eat it after all, she was still pissed that I brought something. :rolleyes:

Anyway, it was nice to come home to my food obesessed vegan family and be able to consume anything in sight without reading lables or asking 'is this vegan?' Since my last post about 2 years ago, my mother and sister have become vegan and my dad is lacto-ovo at home and occasionally eats chicken when he eats out.

Awareness was key for them, knowing about suffering and knowing that they could do something about it helped them make the transition. It's fun too, food has always been a big deal around here. We are always talking about, cooking, growing or eating food all day. It's nice that we can all relate again and feel good about what we are eating. :happy:

I don't know what I'd do without them, or what I'd do if they were against me about being vegan. I really sympathize with people who have to take crap not only from friends and co-workers but also from the people who are supposed to be our shelter and sanctuary from the crappy world. My heart and hopes got out to everyone! Keep fighting the good fight, they'll see the light! ;)

[bird]

I even had one girl jump down my throat for bringing my own food one time because she spent extra to make a vegetarian dish for me (which I appreciate) except it had egg in it. She didn't care that I couldn't eat it after all, she was still pissed that I brought something.Eew! Well, that is rude, to say the least! :rolleyes:

it was nice to come home to my food obesessed vegan family and be able to consume anything in sight without reading lables or asking 'is this vegan?' Since my last post about 2 years ago, my mother and sister have become vegan and my dad is lacto-ovo at home and occasionally eats chicken when he eats out.That's fantastic for you! Congrats on having such an enlightened, compassionate family. Maybe you three women can crank up a little peer pressure on your dad to get him to go the last mile. ;)

[Tofuy]

last winter when i visited my family for the holidays i received one of the largest shocks of my vegan life.



there was no meat in the refridgerator. there were more soy products than dairy. the pantry was full of organic stuff.

wow. :o

[bluemango]

matriarco and I have converted our mother!! She's now *almost* vegan. She eats no meat or eggs whatsoever, and very occasionally has dairy. Her vice is peanut M&Ms (anyone know of a vegan version?). She uses soy milk in her coffee at home, but regular milk when out at a restaurant. Other than that, she's vegan, although she is getting used to the whole recognizing-trace-ingredients thing (which admittedly is very hard at first). But we're proud of her efforts. :)

Also, our brother has announced that he would like work towards being vegan, and is taking steps toward it. He's almost cut out meat entirely (which is HUGE for him), and is severely cutting down his dairy and eggs. Baby steps. Soon we will be a vegan family. :D

[bird]

That's awesome, you guys! :silly: It's so wonderful to hear about the progress your loved ones are making towards a healthier and more compassionate way of life.

Yay Tofuy's family! :banana:

Yay matriarco & bluemango's mom & brother! :cartwheel:

[pleather]

I would love to make my parents vegan, but I'd settle for them eating less meat in general. They both have many health problems that are due to the SAD, and that I know would go away if they stopped eating it. It saddens me to see that they don't want to change their lifestyes because they think it's "living well" to eat rich foods and drink lots of wine and not pay attention to their health. But they're in their mid-50s and are on tons of medications and act like they are much older than they are.

My mom is much more receptive than my dad to dietary change. She even uses soymilk now because she's lactose intolerant and knows that soy is good for women in menopause. I told her that dairy products are bad for her osteoporosis, but she didn't believe me at first and had to do a ton of research before she'd even listen. (Part of the problem with converting parents seems to be that they don't like to listen to their kids because they think they're the authority on everything, even if the kids are adults too.)

The problem is my dad. He does all of the cooking and would never consider the idea of giving up meat. He still eats veal (and tells me about it all the time, which sickens me to no end) and is proud of all the exotic things that he's eaten. He's also a very picky eater (in many ways he's like a grown child). It took my mom years to convince him to eat romaine lettuce instead of iceburg.

i'll be curious to see if my parents have done any thinking after reading our (my and veganfreak's) book. Who knows if they'll ever drop their habits.

[bluedawg]

Also, rather than labelling the cookies vegan, you could just offer them with the rest of the cookies, and have a small sign nearby saying, "ask about our vegan baked goods". That way omnis won't pass up the vegan stuff simply because it's vegan... but vegans will know that they have options.that is brilliant! i love that!

my parents (mom, dad, stepmom) are all omni. they are pretty supportive, and vaguely/mildly curious, but they are omni. my dad had a heart scare a few years ago so he is particularly intrigued by the no-cholesterol aspect of veganism, and was surprised by (but okay with) the fact that luna bars and clif bars--which he eats all the time--are vegan.

i find it extremely frustrating, to be honest. my entire family is a big bunch of animal-lovers, so the disconnect is aggravating. then again, almost all of us were omnis at some point, so on some level i get it. i just have a hard time "pushing" things on people and i want them to ask me more! :) i want them to say, "can you tell me more about why you're vegan?" or "do you have any good books?" or "can i borrow that DVD, peaceable kingdom or whatever it was you got for your birthday?" or something.

when i first went vegan my mom freaked out about how i would get my protein, calcium, etc... so i gave her my copy of the vegan sourcebook (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0737305061/qid=1124229983/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-7251304-6856127?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) and i bookmarked the nutrition section with a why vegan? pamphlet. i thought i was being awfully damn clever. i have no idea how much of it she read, but she gave it back to me the next time she saw me and said, "okay well just be careful," or something vague like that.

my stepmom is amazing about preparing vegan meals for me and/or bringing vegan stuff to big family functions. i really love her for that (and her mom and her sister are equally nice about that)... but at the same time it kind of bugs me if they have us over to eat, they'll prepare a vegan meal and then have a side of meatballs for other people to add in. why? will people really die if they don't have meat at that one meal?

i've been feeling pretty alienated in my social network--not because anyone is mean to me, nothing like that--just because i feel very much like the odd one out. sorry for the rant.

the bright spot in it all is my sister, who has been vegetarian almost as long as i have, and is really awesome about the non-dietary parts of veganism. i think she's getting there, i really do. i just don't want to push.

[MalcKiera]

My mum went vegetarian after I'd battered her ears for months on end about the health risks involved in eating meat. She won't go vegan tho, but is happy to have vegan food/drink when at mine, i.e. she doesn't expect me to get dairy milk for her cuppa :) I think that the best thing is tho, that while she slipped up a few times after I left home, she's now convinced enough to stay veggie, even if I'm not around to check her fridge on a regular basis (she lives in Holland while I'm in sunny Manchester). Way to go mum! :)

[bird]

i've been feeling pretty alienated in my social network--not because anyone is mean to me, nothing like that--just because i feel very much like the odd one out. sorry for the rant.I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. You never know, though - lots of people have shared stories about the changes in family members they once thought would never see the light. Here's hoping! :) :kiss:

[bluedawg]

thanks, cym. :heart:

you're right, i should keep my chin up!

[feenix101]

After visiting FS with me this past weekend, my Mom has decided to start on her journey towards veg*nism. She has recently been doing a lot of research on her own to try and aid her cancer treatments with nutrition, and has found that its saying everything I've been telling her about food. So, I think those two things in combination have really set her on a solid path. She's already given up eggs unless they're baked in something when she's out, meat, milk and cheese at home. She's been a cheese-a-holic for as long as I can remember, so the fact that she's really only not vegan outside of the house is huge.

I think her mostly vegetarian bf is going to be not only supportive, but extremely helpful for her during this time. It is so exciting to have veganish family!

[bird]

Awesome, feenix! I'm glad the trip to Farm Sanctuary turned out so well! :sunny:

[Lyrical-lynx]

I've not quite mange to get my family to go vegan, but very close! They are all nerely there and want to be vegan soon!

I found the best way is to show them that vegan food is nicer! It wound my mum up abit at first when she reaised that everybody liked the soya milk, and soya cheese more than the dairy, and they all much much prefer the vegan VegiDeli sosages and stuff, but shes realsied that thou it costs alittle more finantually over all its a very little price to pay (excuse the pun!)

I recon that by the end of the year, my step dad, sister and one of my brothers will be vegan, my mum might take alittle longer, thou she wants it, shes not got very strong will power, and my other brother, i doute he will change for a while, he likes his real cheese too much, but then he is only 10!

Within 2 years i think the whole family will be vegan in the home, but some of them might brack the rules, when out, we will see, progress not perfection!

:-)

[bluedawg]

i posted about this in the howard lyman thread, but this part of it isn't really about howard lyman... it's about my mom and veganism. i'm interested in getting some input on this, so i thought it might get more action (and be more on-topic) here. i hope it's okay that i brought it over. here's the basic conversation so far:i'm going to see howard lyman speak tomorrow night. i'm really excited. whee!

i invited my sister and mom when i saw them yesterday, and my sister (lacto-ovo) was immediately interested, and also really wanted to bring her (omni) husband. she felt that howard lyman would be a really credible source for him.

today i emailed the details of his talk to my sister and my mom, and re-invited them. my sister emailed back to say that she and her hubby will definitely be coming (yay!!), and my mom emailed back something frustrating:
well, you know, i probably won't go. it will affect me greatly and i just don't have what it takes to become a vegan and i'll just spend the rest of my life being miserable...so i'll keep my head in the sand... :(
i am simultaneously encouraged (because she admits that the knowledge would affect her and make her very upset) and frustrated beyond belief (because of her explicit desire to be left ignorant). i'm not sure what to do. sigh.
Why does she think she'll be miserable? Does she think you're miserable? I think she left this as an open case, and you should pursue it. But tread lightly.
no, i think she meant: (1) if i go i will learn all kinds of stuff that would make me super sad, but (2) "i don't have what it takes to become a vegan," (WTF??) so (3) therefore i would just be a miserable omnivore because i know too much. does that make sense?
Yes, that makes sense. That's what I got from it when I first read it. I think the only way to proceed, unless you want to leave things at that - which is totally your call - is to ask her why she doesn't think she has the strength to go vegan. I can't think of a single answer she could give that you wouldn't know how to respond to. {bluedawg}this conversation is from last night, so the howard lyman talk is today. i'm thinking about emailing my mom this morning, maybe something along the lines of what cym suggested, but i'm also just interested in what people think about this in general. i'm frustrated right now.

[kikkert]

Bluedawg, based on my experience with family members, the reasons for wanting your mom to attend a talk (or read a book, watch a film, etc) might be what scares her. You have already expanded her knowledge of veganism and are there for her if she has any questions in the future. If she doesn't want to go to the talk, let it go.

[bluedawg]

yeah, you're probably right. i did email her (before you posted, kikkert) and it didn't go particularly well. argh. i guess i'll just vent to my sister tonight until i can make some sense of it, or peace with it, or whatever.

i get sort of sucked into this kind of thing and it's hard to pull myself out sometimes. i just want the people closest to me to REALLY understand, and i think the vast majority of them are perfectly happy not understanding, and that bugs me.

[bird]

{bluedawg} Sorry it didn't go better, hon! :umm:

[JasperKat]

i get sort of sucked into this kind of thing and it's hard to pull myself out sometimes. i just want the people closest to me to REALLY understand, and i think the vast majority of them are perfectly happy not understanding, and that bugs me.


Me too. I get frustrated with my fiance, my parents, my friend who constantly coos over animals but eats meat. I feel like I walk a line with them sometimes. I want to just flat out ask "What's the deal? Do you not care? Are you lazy? Help me understand why!" But I can't, for a million reasons. Okay, more like 10 reasons, but still...

-JK

[vegangurl]

I would love for my best friends and family to be vegan.Even though, I have been a vegan for sometime now I just recently told my frined last month.She called me 'weird'.I know she doesn't understand my beliefs on anything at all.She doesn't mean to offend me or anything.She has also made a nickname for mean "Soybeany" she thinks its just so hilarious. :laugh: It funny when she calls me that.I have tried to tell her about the bird flu,mad cow,and everything else.She just ignores me all the time.Now concerning my parents, my daddy told me would never go vegan.My household is vegetarian and vegan(me).They do eat fish,though which I told them contains 9 million times more bacteria than chicken, but they dont care.Some people can be so ignorant. :confused: We are making some progress cause now they only drink soy milk. :) At one point my mother stopped eating fish for about a day then switched back when my daddy made his famous grilled salmon.I won't give up on them,though. In time we will become an all vegan family. :)